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What happened? Now what?

Asked Jun 14, 2008, 05:03 AM — 5 Answers
Hey. I started dating this man and I thought everything was wonderful We connected on the first date - I mean, it felt so comfortable and we talked and talked. After the first date, he called and emailed all the time. We really got along and had fun together. He treated me so well and this went on for a month and a half. The last time I saw him all was the same and then this week something died. He stopped calling and texting as much and then finally, yesterday, he told me that he lost that connection and had no idea why. When we were together there weren't any signs and then it was done. I am at a loss. How do I reconnect with him? Should I even try to if he says he lost it? He told me that he has been wracking his brain trying to figure out what happened but he can't explain it. My disappointment is overwhelming and I am so hurt but I have a lot of pride. I want it to figure itself out but what are the odds? What should I do? Any advice. By the way, he is such a great guy - morals, values, holds doors open, so considerate and sweet, and did I mention incredibly sexy in my eyes. I appreciate any advice. Thank you...

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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,338, Reputation: 50366
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#2

Jun 14, 2008, 05:57 AM


For whatever reasons he has changed his mind, and you should accept it, and move on with your life. Chasing or trying to change his mind back is futile.
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JBeaucaire's Avatar
JBeaucaire Posts: 5,377, Reputation: 5036
Software Expert
  
#3

Jun 14, 2008, 06:18 AM
You have to realize little that happens in the first few months of dating is completely honest. Everyone is "trying hard" to please and be pleasing, I call it the "honeymoon" period. There's a lot of sweetness and doting...oh my.

It doesn't last. As soon as that starts to wear off, familiarity and normalness return, and with that...honesty.

Unfortunately, without the "honeymooning", people just don't always click. There's no reason behind it. There's nothing for you to figure out. The exact same thing could have happened with YOU being the one that just "wasn't feeling it anymore".

Admit it. It could. Maybe it even has. Never had someone interested in you that you ultimately weren't interested back? That's never happened?

It just is what it is. If you make it personal (and I know it's tempting since dating feels so personal), then this will take far longer to get over and move on than it has to.
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lolalola22's Avatar
lolalola22 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#4

Apr 9, 2010, 01:19 PM
God dating is tricky. Console yourself that you're not the only person this happens to for a start! He sounds a bit flaky to be honest and not worth the grief. However I know how great it feels when you meet someone you like and how awful it is when it gets taken away - concentrate on yourself for a bit and the things that you like about yourself. I still stress a lot about dating as you will see from my posts but I never get depressed when things go wrong - I'm always eager to learn from these things and move forward - hope you will do the samw
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Devorameira's Avatar
Devorameira Posts: 2,462, Reputation: 4960
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#5

Apr 9, 2010, 01:48 PM
Move on and just be grateful that his "disconnection" didn't occur years into the relationship.

There's some great guys out there waiting to meet you.
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friend4u178's Avatar
friend4u178 Posts: 3,452, Reputation: 7927
Ultra Member
  
#6

Apr 9, 2010, 02:01 PM
This thread is 2 years old guys , I think it may have been sorted out by now.
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