I have been with my boyfriend for the past 3 1/2 years and has not been the best one. Well yesterday my 9 year old son got in some trouble and I punish him, when my boyfriend got home he heard me talking about it with my mother, so he started to argue with me on why I didn't wait till he got home for me to talk to him about it and for him to put the punishment. And I DON'T AGREE, I don't feel like I have to check with anyone about how to handle my son, not even his father. What do you think, I'm over reacting?

nickynicky

I think you were quite right to do what you did , if you are going to punish a child for some thing then it needs to be done straight after the bad deed was done , you could have been waiting hours or days to seek aproval from boyfriend or childs father . if it was me in the situation i would have given the punishment to the child and when b f returned home sat both b f and child down and said " right child did this he is grounded for two days, " so both partys know that each other is aware of punishment , i think your b f should back up what ever decision you made at the time of his absence !!

bigbird213

Just for the record:

When I was younger, "Just wait till your father gets home..." were 7 of the scariest words I ever heard....

Romefalls19

Well I would agree with BB213 but I must "spread the rep" but yes...Those were words I NEVER wanted to hear. And sadly, I heard them often and it was usually at around 1 pm and dad didn't get home til 5:30..4 and a half hours to knowing that the belt will be coming was the worst possible thing

kirope

I think what bothers me the most is that he is not even my sons father, he always looking at what he does wrong but never look at the good things my son do, (good grades, doing his chores, etc) so I feel like if he doesn't care about what he does good why does he needs to care about what he did wrong.

Romefalls19

Yea, that's a different story, you should have included that in the description so we could have made a more accurate determination.

If that's the case, having a sit down with your boyfriend telling him how you feel in a rational but firm conversation may be the best laid plan. If you only focus on a childs faults it will only hinder the child

bigbird213

I'm glad you have the best interest of your child in mind. I don't have expierence with this but I can imagine that being in a relationship with tension between your child and your boyfriend can't turn out good. I just hope that you keep your child's interests first, as it seems you are....

I also agree with you that he shouldn't have any interest in punishing him if he takes little interest in the rest of his life. If, on the other hand, he acts like a father figure, then I don't see anything wrong with him being included in the punishment area. He must first demonstrate his willingness to be a father-figure to your child though.

talaniman

You are quite right in handling your own business with your son. He is not the father, and really has no say in what you do. My wife would never wait for me to come home, but I was expected to back up any decision she made as far as punishment, and I always did. Thats what your b/f needs to do, so talk it over with him, and clear the air and let him know where you stand..

For the record, we got punished, and dreaded my father coming home to deal with us, after my mother did. Double jeapardy applied in our house.

Romefalls19

I had that as well Tal...If I was that bad, wooden spoon followed by a leather belt! Torture, but I still think kids should be beat today. I came out better for it

bigbird213

I agree 100%.

You got the spoon too huh? I don't like using the word "beat" as it has bad connotations but i know what you meant