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Back ground info:
he(32) is 8 years older than I(24), he was married for 8months to the date 9 years ago. we been together 6 months, I care about him, we have been very happy a few ups and downs but we have grown stronger because of it. He is very focused individual, intelligent, has an ego bigger than him, strong love for his friends and family which i value. will graduate in may and looking toward law school in the fall(fingers crossed) I will grad in dec with an education degree. He has always stated that he is happy , "in it to win it", doesn't want to lose me, give him time in the funks(these are things that i have heard constantly until 2 weeks ago
ok the real part...
he goes through these funks(i call depression spells) out of no where he says he doesn't know what to do, he isn't happy(with everything in general) his heart is with me but he is fighting his head who says run away....He says that he doesn't have time for this(cop-out)
I asked him the otherday where do we stand "i dont know" was the response.... so what do you think what should i do... anything please help... i want us to work out... i want to show him that it is ok to be afraid, and that you have to face your fears... i am not a needy person....
even better question......yes he does a whole slew of them I enjoy all of them , they are all married good careers and children... he has been helping one of his friends who baught a 118 yearold house, remodle it..he and 2 of his friends are not married..1 in memphis who is vp of a bank, and single, very smart adn sweet... the other in LA as manager of a dillards who just went through his own break up... this the guy when charles wanted to take me to meet him in oct.. he through a fit because it was his time and didnt want me around.. charles with 2 days of leaving cancled our plans and went down to him... i toughed it out
I think all this stuff surfacing after 6 months is definetly a cause for concern.
The inflated ego coupled with the depression indicates its anything but high self-esteem, thats worrisome for future considerations. I know you mentioned his compatibility issues were a cop-out and I couldn't agree more on that point. I cannot imagine a person seriously or honestly distancing themselves from someone they care about b/c you are not well educated in what field of study they enjoy, thats a load of b.s and offensive if you ask me. I've yet to meet a girl that could tell me how many rebounds KG averages a night and we've gotten along just fine (lol..i'll bet alot of ladies are saying who the heck is KG???)
It seems that he is a very confused person and his background would support that. Like Tala said, love and all that jazz may only mask these problems until reality sinks in. I'd tell him your concerns and really try to work through them now before it gets worse. To be quite honest, i'd let this go unless you really do love him to death. At 24, you havealot of people to meet and thisguy sitting around wondering whether he likes you enough is kind of a slap in your face, make the decision before he wastes more of your time and leaves you a little older and alot more jaded. Of course this advice is based on how I seeit, I cannot possibly tell you to leave if indeed you want this to work, if that be thecase than try to work it out. Although it does sound as if you could find someone much more "interested" in you.
Oh, i do agree with you being a "trophy" for him, at 32 a 24 year old would be something a guy would feel good about.
"24 with a lot less life experiences, usually have a hard time communicating" i have been through a lot in my life more than i probably should. I do not act my age, i am pretty mature and goal orientated.. If age is an issu he should of thought about that before he started this realtionship and please that isa pathetic excuse... yes he has 8 years on me. ok i give him that but he has stayed constatn ... he is a runner... and unwilling to face the music... he had his ego handed to him and i just smiled (to myself) he took the LSAT studied hard... wanted to go to DUKE, VANDERBILT... the type who walks into the room and looks at other students and thinks"LOSER" (when in reality he is, 32 in college living with parents and grandmother) He recieved a 155 on a silver platter that is border line wait listing score at ole miss law
The inflated ego coupled with the depression indicates its anything but high self-esteem.
I'm disagreeing because I've been in this guys shoes (only in this reguard). I had this "I'm better than everybody on the planet" attitude, and I was diagnosed with depression, taking 37.5 mg of Paxil a day. One doctor even said I should be taking closer to 75, yikes! Depression and huge ego actually went hand in hand.
Other than that, I agree with everything you mentioned.
final question with this issue....
should i play this game and be patient and see where it goes or cut my loses... I was engaged 3 years ago to an older guy by 4 years... and at times i think the 2 are brothers....and because of what i went through with him i have learned alot about myself and about charles...... I dont know if this is over or not, i guess i just want a solid answer from him but i dont want to nag it out of him.. currently i have just been doing my thing, but in the back of my mind this stirs
Now that last post speaks volumes as I was wondering why a 32 year old would even be in college. I still think caution should be your keyword, as he has personal issues to deal with, and you have no experiences to help him. Its up to him to find a professional, and help himself.
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