What does it mean when your ex gives you updates of his life with his fiancŽe to you

That's why sticking with NC works.

Removes all of that flip-flopping, heartache & false hopes.

The more you play this game, the more hurt you will be.

Start now.

Absolutely NC. Your mind is trying to help you out of all this....listen up!

Your heart is leading you down the path of misery, and utter stupidity, and your brain is trying to tell your heart to shut the hell up. Its up to you to choose which one you listen to.

Break all the contact until you know because, you keep with these little friendly feel good meetings, you know darn well your common sense will go out the window, and he will use you, and you will be very miserable again.

You are forgetting the fact he's with someone else and wants to marry her. And had her before you broke up.

You being his friend is just gravy for him.

Why wouldn't he want to be your friend. You are falling all over him.

Get some self-respect. You don't want him as a friend. You want him back.

Aint going to happen. Read back through your thread. He's using you. And you continue to let it happen.

Stop now. You are the one that's creating your own hurt.

NC. The only way.

Choices, you have two that only you can make, not us for you, plain and simple I believe;

A. Continue doing what you are doing, enjoy the 'moments', enjoy what you feel are the 'benefits' that you will possibly have for the short run. And it will be the short run because I can guarantee you that his fiancee/wife WILL find out about you and the truth. And the problems that you have now will be nothing compared to what is going to be coming your way.

All our advice means nothing if you decide to coast along hoping for the best. Only you can be mature enough to step back and see what you are doing to yourself. Because he really isn't doing this against your will, you are the one that is letting him do it. Have you ever heard the term intrinsic fortitude?

B. Simple, first make the decision that you are a better person than this and more than a spare bed partner (sorry, but true) for him whenever he wants you.

Do you think that you are the first to ever go through this? You know you aren't. And if you were not involved in this, what advice would you give to someone being used like this?

Stop now, yep right now, take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are a better person than this. Your mom didn't raise an idiot.

Good luck,

Stringer

I will try to go for NC again..but what I will say if he ask what problem I have now when I was ok with it a day ago...and another thing even if I don't talk to him..he will be there in front of me..because of our office location...or should I convey it to him as well that its going to be a trouble for both us in the long run and we can't be friends..going for NC at this time is going to be very much difficult for me personally..I maintained it earlier with lots of effort and again I am there from where I started... He didn't say anything wrong yet..I told you how I felt but really I don't know what exactly is going on in him...he do said that he is ready to meet up again and will make plans (ofcourse hiding from his wife)..he told me he was out of his mind when he took his marriage decision..he loved me that time..and at the same time that he don't have any regrets on his decision..he is happy with his life..but he misses me lots...I stopped him right there saying I don't want to get into those things again...and I found him somewhat distant after the meet..may be he is also thinking the same that its not going to work or whatever..
I will try what you all are saying..and keep you posted

Stringer's right.

Dont be scared of facing the fact that its done. Not really sure what you see in this guy. He left you for another. What you had is way over.

You are grieving enough by allowing this false hope to continue. When are you going to be done crying over him? And start living again. Learn your lesson on who to really care about. The ones that don't screw you over.

Talking to him was a big mistake. Right before your last post. Get it?

Im pullin' for yeah. Who's In?

"(ofcourse hiding from his wife)"

Need we say more?

Why bother asking? You know why. He doesn't want you on her radar screen before he's done with you.

And you, for your part, are lusting after a married man. The feelings you described elsewhere are lust, not love and not "friendship."
You are kidding yourself.

In fact, a mess is exactly what he wants. He'll use you to hurt his wife. And you are cooperating. Maybe you want to hurt her too? Revenge on her because he chose her?

I seriously doubt that this is true.

He shows no respect for your asking him to leave you alone. He has no respect for you or for his wife. He cannot "help" you with anything. He can only make you miserable.

Because those words didn't get him what he wanted. So now he's trying different words. He'll say whatever he needs to say to keep you close, so he can get you into bed, sooner or later.

EVERYTHING he says is wrong!

I think you know better than you let on what is happening. I think you are blinded by lust.

I am understanding what all you want to say...and as I said I will try to go on NC again... Yes I do want to talk to him more..want to see him again...but I had no idea that it will be callled as lust...