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    packer04's Avatar
    packer04 Posts: 105, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Oct 19, 2008, 06:31 PM
    What does it mean when a man says a woman is overpowering?
    I am friends with this guy(4 months now) He told me I can be a little overpowering to him, but I didn't quite understand him. I ask him and his response was that I called him 2 days later. He tends to call me 1-2 times per day and I maybe 1-2 times per week, as that is how he likes it, I also maybe invited him to join me once in awhile for supper, but that's it. Also he said he is not use to any woman being so nice and giving. I have always been that way to all my friends and family and I feel that's a good thing. I still don't quite get it and that's all he would say. So guys what really is overpowering in a woman. I don't feel I am at all. I am a upbeat,positive person and I am patient, kind and a very giving person.So let me know anyone out there.
    hannah_nicole's Avatar
    hannah_nicole Posts: 163, Reputation: 13
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    #2

    Oct 19, 2008, 06:38 PM
    Maybe as you are upbeat and positive you come across as very confident and to anyone (not just guys) confidence can be overpowering if you lack it yourself. Is he a shy type of guy?
    hannah_nicole's Avatar
    hannah_nicole Posts: 163, Reputation: 13
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    #3

    Oct 19, 2008, 06:47 PM
    Also he seems like a non committal kind of guy - and you seem to know who you are. Any woman who is sure of herself and knows what she wants can be off putting or "overpowering" to a guy who doesn't like to commit or is looking for something casual, hell it means you know what you want in a relationship and for your future. That's red alert for any male who just wants a fling. It means he can't play games with you and push and pull you along. That's intimidating to a man who wants to be in control of his fun.
    packer04's Avatar
    packer04 Posts: 105, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Oct 19, 2008, 06:55 PM

    I am very upbeat and try to be. He is shy and he is only looking for friendship right now which I am fine with.(he is just out of a relationship 6 months-so he ask that I give him time and space which I am) Where me I am looking for a relationship. I don't think I am pushy, and I might be too nice, but shouldn't men like a lady who is nice. He has said to me I am exactly what he wants in a woman, but he just doesn't have the feelings there for me. So we are friends, and that is hard for me but I respect his honesty and I enjoy his company. So maybe he is scared-I don't know what to think. But we are friends.
    hannah_nicole's Avatar
    hannah_nicole Posts: 163, Reputation: 13
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    #5

    Oct 19, 2008, 07:06 PM
    Just try not to be strung along. Fair enough he needs space after his previous relationship but if you are "everything he wants in a woman" but "the feelings arent there" I don't understand that. Either he is very confused or he is just using the lines to keep you around while he decides what he wants. Don't put your life on hold for him give him the time that he needs & don't contact him. Are you really happy to settle for just friends? Are you viewing this as a transition period until you & him are together
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #6

    Oct 19, 2008, 07:08 PM

    He could feel you are coming onto him to strong?

    It sometimes messes us guys up when women are nice to us. We normal think

    ---Woohoo I'm in ---

    But time shows that's not the case.
    Don't change who you are. You sound great :) and there is nothing wrong in the way you act
    Keep on doing what you do

    Best of luck
    hannah_nicole's Avatar
    hannah_nicole Posts: 163, Reputation: 13
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    #7

    Oct 19, 2008, 07:11 PM
    If you are happy to keep this man as a friend then do so. Meanwhile find a man who is willing to commit to you. This should be no problem seeing as you are just friends. Don't let him put you on hold - you deserve to find someone who is willing to reciprocate what you want.
    packer04's Avatar
    packer04 Posts: 105, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Oct 19, 2008, 07:52 PM

    Well I was hoping he would see me than more of a friend. I mean he called me 1-2 times per day,took me out, came over,I went to his place and he sort of gave mixed signals. Kissing,hugging,etc, then he said no more of that. Then last week he stopped calling as much, no going or coming over, he backed way off and I didn't know why. Said I was too nice and he just didn't have feelings for me , but wants to be friends, cause he wants to find that special lady. Well I was hurt and let him know, hadn't heard from him in 5 days till tonight and we didn't quite talk as much. He seemed distant. So I don't know what I can do now but be a friend. I do have feelings for him, but would like things back to what they were friend wise. He seems confused and depressed at times. But its nice to have a guy friend. But I hope to find some guy. I thought we were great, but I guess somewhere I did something to scare him off.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #9

    Oct 19, 2008, 08:05 PM

    Ahh okkk now it all falls into place.

    Well my dear forget him OK his loss
    Don't wait around for someone who does not Like you for YOU!
    packer04's Avatar
    packer04 Posts: 105, Reputation: 2
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    #10

    Oct 19, 2008, 08:14 PM

    TrueFaith
    Explain there. I mean I am new to dating or friends with a guy. I am 48 and he is 50. So what do you mean here-is it something I did and can't see.
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
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    #11

    Oct 19, 2008, 09:57 PM

    You did nothing to scare him off. Nothing

    As you said he just said __( no more of that. Then last week he stopped calling as much, no going or coming over, he backed way off ___)

    So what I'm saying is. Don't waist your time on him go out and find someone else if he has pushed away from you, leave it like that

    Best thing is to not dwell on it. I know it will be hard but keep busy and keep on moving

    We all find people that we think will be great for us then they leave us. Its normal
    But what we think is good for us, there is normaly a reason why it is not in our lives,

    It makes us find oher things

    The big ahh now it falls into place
    Was him brushing you off.
    packer04's Avatar
    packer04 Posts: 105, Reputation: 2
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    #12

    Oct 19, 2008, 10:37 PM

    I am not going to dwell on it, but just want to know what would scare a guy like that off when a woman is doing everything right-being herself,being nice. Was I maybe a rebound since he is not over his previous love. Well we are still friends,(or should I not be) but its not like it was, when we talked earlier. He is sort of scared for some reason. I guess my emotions scared him away, but it through me for a loop when I supposeably am what he wants-but no feelings. That through me. Thanks for the advice. Aby more on men in general.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Oct 20, 2008, 10:28 AM
    You're a doll, and I love you, even if he doesn't. :)

    Be very aware though in your zeal to be who you are, and show it, pay attention to how its received, and know when to back off yourself, if need be, at least with that particular person.

    Guys like me though, love females like yourself. You don't have to settle for someone that is incapable of dealing with you.:D
    packer04's Avatar
    packer04 Posts: 105, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Oct 24, 2008, 06:15 PM

    Thanks for saying I am a doll. I am who I am and a I am not going to change being the nice person I am. I have backed off from him. I am hurt by the fact that if I am so compatible with him and everything he wants what's up?? I have heard from him and he is seeing someone else and I am glad for him. Someone will come along for me-thought it was him, but not. I can though be friends. And I am glad guys like you Talaniman like females like me!! Thanks.

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