| what does this mean? how do i move on?
okay so i broke up with this guy about 7 months ago. i was with him for almost a year and half, i loved him but we had to end it cause we gradually drifted apart and it became awkward. He was my first lover and boyfriend. The problem is i cant stop thinking about him or looking at him. i keep distracting myself but that can only last for so long. He was the one that wanted to break up with me, i wanted it but never had the courage to say anything. so he did, anyways we mutually agreed. So i accepted. So after 3 weeks or so i was talking to this guy who was one my class mate. i didn't notice it at first but he started to get close with me. eventually he told me that he liked me and this was about 1 month later since i broke up with my first and i started to date him secretly cause i didn't want to hurt my ex,i denied it at first saying to the guy that i need time to think about it cause i just broken up with a serious relationship. But eventually word got around and he found out i was dating this guy. Now problem is we weren't talking to each other face but via email. He asked me whether i like another guy while i was dating and i said no. then he found out and he started accusing me of being a liar. i tried to tell him that we were broken up and he had no control over me and i was trying to move on. later on i was invited to party he was there we started talking to sort things out and i told him i wanted to be friends with him but he said how we don't talk anymore and so leads him to walking out on me and i think tears in his eyes. i wanted him so bad just to be my friend cause i didn't want to lose him. i know we drifted apart but i still want to be his friend. it took me while to accept that it could never be same. but i ask the question to you and me how can a relationship last so long and in the end you dont know who they are anymore? does that mean that it was love at all?
The guy i was with i broke it off, cause i knew it hurt him and i dint know myself whether he was my rebound guy. i don't talk to the guy anymore, his in my class and i dont have the guts to say anything its too weird and i felt guilt in a way. i dont really care anymore he turned out to be jerk. well here i am now asking the question how do i move on? what does this mean? and i don't want him back but i cant stop thinking about him...will i find a better guy? please help me its driving me insane it makes me sad to think about and distract me from school and i need to concentrate cause its year 12...its too much to stress not knowing whats ahead of me of what i want to either.
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