My ex boyfriend and I were together for 4-years. We never had a problem with love in our relationship, but we fought endlessly and it became pretty hard to deal with at times. We were on and off the last 2-years, and love was just not enough to keep us together. I am in my senior year of college, about 3 hours away from my home town and him. He still has not progressed in his life and is currently at the same job and position he was when we started dating. The last part of our relationship I broke it off and spent a week realizing how much I needed to grow up and get over the pettiness. I turned back to him eager to end the on and off cycle and he turned me away. At first he told me he needed some time, he told me it was a break and he was not sure how long it would be. He said he woke up one day and just could not go through it anymore. Now I should explain that he loved me. Beyond loved me. He always told me he would never leave my side, he would always love me no matter what, and I was the only one meant for him. He was kind of insecure about us and called me often day and night when we were not together. For 4 years he drowned me with love, and suddenly it ended, within one week. He didn't even want to date me. At first he wanted to be friends. It started to hurt and I did the classic, call, email, write letters, etc... pretty much harassed and begged him for 2 weeks straight. He told me he didn't want to date, that he needed time to find himself and one day he was going to make our dreams come true and marry me. I accepted that for a while, but being away from home in a new apartment in college I missed him more than anything and could not stop myself from calling and crying. Finally he had it. He became angry and started telling me everything was my fault. He said horrible things to me telling me all sorts of thing that I did in our relationship. Now I know I was not a perfect girlfriend, but he pushed it too far. I left him alone for a week and our birthdays were coming up. His birthday is the day before mine and the whole day I held back from calling. Oddly enough his ex girlfriend as the same birthday as me... and I noticed on Facebook... he wished her a happy birthday, and that really stung. Finally a little before midnight, just before my birthday, I called him and he said even more mean things to me and barely wished me a happy birthday.

That was it, I deleted his number, his Facebook, everything. He was really upset saying I was deleting him from my life. What was I supposed to do? The last thing I ever said to him was thank you for becoming an ******* and to enjoy his single life, because I would never want the person he became back. I have not seen him for a little over a month and we have not spoken for 2 weeks. I know it doesn't seem like a long amount of time that we have been apart, but we have spent the last 4 years with each other, practically living together, and always in contact. There was one time when we took a break that lasted for maybe a month, but I knew we would get back. Now that I know that I can't get him back I realized how much I took for granted and it sucks. That is one thing that was mainly my fault.

I miss him and I know I have so much ahead of me that eventually I will get over it, but it hurts that he doesn't even seem to miss me. He was my best friend, lover, and the person who supported me most in life. He promised to marry me by my senior year in college, and planning on a promise and having it broken is pretty crappy. Right now I just don't know what to do and what to think.