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    What do I do if my girl best friend takes me for granted?

    Asked Apr 1, 2012, 04:24 AM 16 Answers
    My friend and I used to be so close with one another. We loved each other to pieces, and she would always put me before any other guy or any other friend in general. We never lied to each other and we never kept secrets from each other. But lately we've been getting into arguments about the smallest, dumbest things. It's been tearing us apart, and it feels like she's come to trust me less and less.

    Most of the arguments have been based around how she's been taking me for granted already. She treats me like crap, and always expects me to stay with her. When I used to leave her, she would get sad and say she 'needed me in her life'. But lately, she doesn't even care if I'm gone or misses me. She played a huge role in my life and I just don't want to lose her. She's like my little sister, and I never want to have to say goodbye to her, but this is getting too far. I'm getting less and less respect from her every day.

    Knowing her, she 'jumps' from guy to guy for friendships. For a while, I was genuinely her #1 guy friend, but as time has gone on, I've become less special. Nowadays there's nothing that separates how she treats me from how she treats her other guy friends. She even treats some of the others better. She lies to me, hides from me, and won't even let me touch her or be close to her, like we both used to do when we first met.

    I'm so confused. I don't know what to do to get my best friend back.

    Last edited by talaniman; Apr 2, 2012 at 10:59 PM.
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    16 Answers
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 151
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    #2

    Apr 1, 2012, 05:46 AM
    How long have you known each other? How old are you both? Is there anything that's happening in her life that could be impacting your friendship?

    x Dani
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    Tmprun76's Avatar
    Tmprun76 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 1, 2012, 07:16 AM
    We ve known each other for four years, but have become really close only within the past 4-5 months. She's 17 and I'm 18, both seniors in high school. I'm not sure there's anything impacting her significantly. She tells me EVERYTHING about her life. But then again, lately she hasn't told me anything. However, I know for a fact that she switches from friends to friends a lot. It's really twisted and messed up in a way. But I thought that I was special. That no matter how much she switched with others, that I would always be her favorite, just like she was mine. I was wrong.
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    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 151
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    #4

    Apr 1, 2012, 07:26 AM
    Maybe she's meeting new friends. I don't speak to any of the friends I had at school or college, bar one, who I've been best friends with for over 7 years.

    It seems like you're relying on her a lot friend-wise. If it's impacting you this much, you should also make friends with other people. I say this as I was in your position when I was 17, and the bloke ended up ditching me for another group of friends and we no longer speak.

    I'm not implying you don't have any friends, but try going out with a different person or group to see whether she perks up socially with you.
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    Tmprun76's Avatar
    Tmprun76 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 1, 2012, 07:50 AM
    Yeah. I mean I do have other groups. And I hang out with them a lot. It used to be where she would get mad at me for hanging out with them over her, which was kind of funny. But now she doesn't even care really. She says she's gotten to a point where she's become 'confortable' in our relationship. In other words, now she thinks it's okay to take me for granted. I don't necessarily rely on her friendship a lot. I've got other friends that are much more reliable and are overall better friends. But I've never been as close with a friend, as I have with her. I love this girl so much, and it's really difficult to just move past her. She impacted my life in so many ways, it's just sad to see what's become of her. I see no reason to leave her unless some extremely dramatic happens. Otherwise, I just want to gain her trust back. I can't play 'attention games' with her anymore (where I deprive her of my attention to have her cone to me) I've done it before, and it worked. But it won't again.
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    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 151
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    #6

    Apr 1, 2012, 07:58 AM
    In that case, she isn't worth it. Why wait for someone that doesn't seem to care? Particularly if she wanted to restrict what friends you had. She sounds a tad immature. You can have this bond again with someone else, who won't use you.
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    Tmprun76's Avatar
    Tmprun76 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 1, 2012, 08:10 AM
    I know, and it's true. She definitely can be 100% immature. But she has a different side to her. And it comes out occasionally. It's sincere, and caring and friendly. She never used me. And never would. I've seen her use other guys, and I scolded her for that. But she's never used me. And I know I can find someone else, but it just won't be the same. Plus I feel that there's still hope. She's just kind of nave and oblivious to the way she treats others sometimes. Deep down she's a very kind-hearted, friendly girl. But she's been acting strange lately. I mean, how would I approach her to ask for change and respect? I know what things to ask, but how should I come about saying them?
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    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 151
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    #8

    Apr 1, 2012, 08:41 AM
    You're mourning over the friendship, so concentrating mainly on the things you miss, remember.

    What things are you wanting to ask?
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    Tmprun76's Avatar
    Tmprun76 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 1, 2012, 08:50 AM
    I just want to know what went wrong, if anything. Why she's taking this friendship differently. And why she won't put an effort to be 'bestfriends' again. I don't think I did anything wrong, but it's like she's avoiding me now. Guess she's just bored of me or something..
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    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 151
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    #10

    Apr 1, 2012, 08:59 AM
    I don't understand why you don't just go about your business without her. If I were you, I'd be pissed off. Try and gain a "Well if you won't bother with me, then you don't deserve to know me" attitude.
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