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What did I learn after a devastating breakup?
Asked Jan 14, 2009, 10:58 PM
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20 Answers 1. There is no such thing as meant to be, the one, true love, or soul mates. There is only the love that you work hard for with your significant other. That in itself, is real love. 2. Love does not simply fall into place, that is infatuation. Love takes hard work, and as soon as one fails to do so, it will crumble as a whole. 3. Communication and honesty are the key foundations to a loving relationship. Both must be present or all will fail. 4. If you are not focused on your significant other for companionship, you are cheating. If you feel the need to hide your conversations with another man from your partner, you are cheating. 5. When looking for a life partner, search for compatibility instead of acceptability 6. You can't try to change a person to someone you want, you must accept the person for who they are. You can only change yourself. 7. Aim to strive for a better you, but don't let another person change who you are. 8. NEVER EVER pressure or guilt your loved one into doing something they don't want to. Do not emotionally blackmail them by making them feel guilty. 9. Do not let your partner become like your mom. Some of them like to do that and it's up to you to know when the line is crossed. 10. Do not backtrack, keep pushing forward or you'll end up in a non productive circle. Accept the truth for what it is and stop giving yourself false hope. When the relationship has ended, you must not dwell in the past. 11. Having a sense of humor is a good thing in general and for a relationship. However, know when you are crossing the line between humor and insensitivity. 12. They might expect you to know what they are thinking without having to tell you, so keep this in mind and pay attention to what they say, their attitude and their actions. 13. When the times are tough, your family and friends are always there for you. Remember what they have done during the hard times and keep them in your heart always. 14. Do not build your life around the person you love and vice versa. Have them a part of your life but do not make them your life. 15. When you love and accept reality, you will be forced to move on without the bitterness within. Strive for this. 16. Take responsibility for your feelings and the actions you make. 17. If you know for sure that the relationship will be going no where, it's better to end it sooner than later. 18. Do not look for a rebound after a serious relationship has ended. It's unhealthy for you, unfair to the rebound, and disrespectful to the ex. 19. Cut all ties and avoid contact for your own sake. NC is the way to go after a break up. 20. Eat right, sleep well, and work out to get ripped after a break up. You will feel so much better about yourself and will take your shirt off at every given chance^^ |
20 Answers
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| To add: 21: You don't need someone to validate who you are because remember you can do bad by yourself. You don't need someone for that. 22: Don't stay someone just because you don't want to be by yourself. There nothing wrong with being single. 23: You can't love someone until you love yourself. Having someone love you is great but lovoung yourself is even greater? | ||||
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| 24: life gives you everything you need to get through it you just need to look at things in a positive way. There is always a rainbow in the sky don't be blind to it by focusing on the clouds  | ||||
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| 1. Great post! And I really agree with you Tal, on the whole making hard decisions thing. 25. When only one of the people in a relationship is working on it: If that person is you, you need to ask the other person to get on the same page, or move on If that person is your partner, then you need to either get on the same page or be fair and move on. 26. You are valuable and don't deserve to be treated badly. (same with the other person...) | ||||
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| Might have been mentioned, but... 27. When they go for someone else, don't mope. Even if it was your best friend. Besides, they weren't really your friend, right? 28. If you push someone away, expect to be pushed back. | ||||
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| 29. Its not up to you to decide whether or not you will get back together. It is a decision they have to make independent of you...no matter how much you try to convince them otherwise. You can't do anything to make them want to come back...you can only do things to make them not want to come back. 30. Removing your ex as a friend on Facebook is very liberating. | ||||
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| 31. It does get better and the pain does go away. Never lose track of this piece of advice. | ||||
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| More to add: - People don't change. Their behaviour might but they don't. - Smart women marry nice guys and really lucky women are attracted to their nice guys. - Never swear or speak unkindly to your partner. If you feel like you're losing control over your words, just leave the room. Or, say, calmly, "Listen. I'm going to just shut up now otherwise I'm going to say terrible things that I regret later." Trust me, you will be so proud of yourself and feel like the bigger person. If your partner tries to provoke you, just walk away. - Just because you love someone doesn't mean they're right for you or that your relationship will be a healthy one. - Men: when your girl is upset, she just wants you to shut up and hug her. | ||||
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| This is GREAT! So true! 17. If you know for sure that the relationship will be going no where, it's better to end it sooner than later. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO? | ||||
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| I learned what to look for in what I don't want in a relationship. | ||||
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