What can I do to stop loving my boyfriend? I admit that he is a sweet wonderful guy but only when he is not angry. I made a mistake when we broke up for the first time, but he continually tells me that it's not a mistake. He hurts me with words that really cut deep through my heart. He tells me that I'm not worthy of him and that I'm one of the worst women in the world. I do everything for him. I treat him really really good. Some people tell me I treat him too good. I do it because I love him. I don't cheat on him because I think that cheating is wrong, but his friends continuously tell him that I could cheat on him anytime because I look like that. I'M NOT LIKE THAT!! And it hurts. They don't know me and their comments are ruining my relationship. What can I do for him to stop remembering past things? I treat him like a king and he treats me like crap. There are times that I get so desperate that I feel like taking my own life. I wish he would change but if he doesn't I wish I could stop loving him, but I don't know how. It's just that when he's angry at me and then cools off he is so sweet. I really don't know what to do. He basically controls my life, I can't even have girl friends. I don't know what to do. We fight a lot. I've even gotten sick because of the fights. I throw up a lot when we fight. He has even told me that my tears mean nothing to him and that he gives a f*** about my feelings, but then he sweets me up by telling me that he didn't mean any of it and that he said it because he was angry. He also says that he loves me and I believe him every time. PLEASE I NEED SOME HELP!!

You do not need any help! Just forget everything about him, why the hell do you love such a guy anyway?. I want you to do something, remember all of your memories with him, the good ones, the bad ones, you will find that the bad ones are more, imagine your life afterwards with him? Would you like your life to be with a person who doesn't give a f**k about you? Who doesn't care about your feelings? He didn't love you from the start, its obvious he was abusing you.. wake up! And forget him and move on.. you will find someone who will truly care about you and love you just as like you loved this guy..
How you can stop loving him?
Remember all the bad things he've done to you, and write them on a note and put it in your room, I know that you are thinking now of revenge, don't think of revenge, he doesn't even deserve a revenge, the best revenge is to let him know that you you don't give a f**k anymore about him, that he lost you and he will never have you back..

Good luck :)

Reading your story reminded me of myself about 7 years ago. I was young (15) and stupid and got in a relationship with a guy who was 16. He fell for me quickly (or so I thought) and was telling me he loved me after a VERY short time of being together, my response was "thank you" because even though I was young, immature and stupid, I knew I didn't love him. Eventually though I loved the idea of him, he got along great with my brother, my parents and sister adored him and he always wanted to spend time with me. When I turned 18 we moved into an apartment together, it was closer to where I was going to college and closer to his job so it made sense. But it was a big mistake, he was abusive, physically and mentally. I always made excuses for it and blamed myself, and afterward he always apologized and convinced me to forgive him. He made me feel worthless, and like no one could ever love or care about me, and I had been with him for so long I started to believe it. He didn't let me talk to or hang out with any of my friends (guy or girl) and wanted to control my life! Eventually we broke up, after I finally decided I couldn't take it anymore, and that whatever pain I may encounter in leaving would be worth it because it would be the LAST time he would be able to hurt me! I was SO relieved, I thought I'd be sad, or lonely, but surprisingly all I felt was relief. I kind of thought I 'loved' him, but when I fell in love a few years after him, I realized what him and I had was no where close to being love (not that it wasn't obvious anyway) What I'm saying is, you deserve better, a guy that will treat you like a queen, be proud of you, and make you feel good about yourself! If you choose to end the relationship, just get back in touch with old friends, and do things YOU enjoy, it might take time but eventually you'll forget about him and find a guy that treats you so wonderfully that you'll wonder why you didn't leave sooner! Best of luck!

I have copied and pasted the following from the cycle of abuse web site.
...
Effects from abuse.

Isolation from others, withdrawal from family and friends, avoid the public

Spending more and more time at work, not wanting to come home
Low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness
Depression, thoughts of suicide
Emotional problems, shame, emotional highs and lows, emotional numbness
Illness - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
Increased alcohol or drug use, addictions
Withdrawal from real life into an alternative reality - perhaps the Internet
... end quote...

You are caught in a cycle of abuse,unless you break that cycle,nothing will change,he won't change and you will get worse.

You need help in real time,its hard to find the courage on your own,that's why you need someone on your side to help and support you.

Can you talk to a friend,mother,aunt,father,brother,pastor?

Your boyfriend needs help,and you can't help him,he needs anger management and perhaps councilling,but he needs you so he can feel powerful,you leave,you take the power away from him,and you then have the power over your own life.

Sadly I'm speaking from my own experience,and I wish I cound'nt,but the best advice I can give you is,ask for help,it's the only way out.

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/women/page5.htm