there's this boy in my school that i met almost 4 months ago. when i first met him he was trying to get me number but i kept telling him no because at the time i had a boyfriend. well he would still try to get my number but i'd always tell him no. he would always flirt with me but i would laugh it off. he would always tell me that he hopes my boyfriend would break my heart so that me and him could be together.
it wasnt until a month later i kind of started to like him but i knew that it was wrong since i had a boyfriend who i had been with for 10 months... and im 14 and he is 16 [big age difference!!]
well i broke up with me boyfriend like a month and a half ago and this boy the boy that i like keeps asking me out and i like him and everything but im really nervous and scared that he'll get bored going out with me since im younger and im a virgin and he's not
and plus he is the biggest flirt and i have been finding out stuff about him from friends in school and i think he's a player
then to top it all of, girls are talking about me in school because he's really cute and alot of girls like him and their kinda jealous
man, i dont know if i should just forget him or give him a chance
advice pleaseeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

kp2171

your instincts are probably right.

it isnt wrong to be persistant. and sometimes a person will be "rewarded" by trying and trying and trying. that doesnt mean the person is bad.

but you sound like you are not ready for the pressure of that relationship... the attention might be nice, but you know, especially since hes sexually active, that you are probably not ready yet.

my advice is to enjoy that he pursues you, but dont act on it. you arent ready for the pressure... and really there is NOTHING wrong with that at all.

you are going to find that there are always people who will not take no for an answer. again... that alone isnt a reason to make then out as bad. confidence and persistence are admirable traits.... but they dont alone warrent your giving in.

again... enjoy that he seems to see you worth chasing... its fun to be chased. but i think you know that hes a little to far ahead of you right now. there will be other boys later on. i promise. be patient and true to yourself.

kp2171

lets get one thing straight.

wanting sex isnt necessarily "bad intentions"... but when you arent ready its not right for you and thats ok.

we are so programmed to think sex is bad and then suddenly its not. well, religious ideals aside, thats a little silly. it isnt that sex is bad, bad, bad and then suddenly becomes magically good.

its just that if you arent ready, and you arent, then its not right for you.

i dated a girl from the time i was 16 (a virgin) until i was 23. we didnt have sex until we were both almost 20. she wasnt ready and i was willing to wait. eventually we gave in, but it was actually nice to not have that pressure. of course after, it was nice to have sex... but we were more willing to live with the consequences then too.

so... im not trying to defend him at all... just dont think he is "bad" or out to hurt you... hes just in a different place mentally than you. you see that and you are smart enough to know it probably isnt healthy for you.

that doesnt make you "behind him"... you are, in fact, probably smarter and more mature than others your age who give in to pressure just because the attention feels nice.

yes.... attention is really nice. but that alone isnt enough.

so enjoy the attention at a distance and be comfortable with where you are. you should be proud that you are willing to think this through and not just act on your emotions.

vebee

Hi.
I know what ur going thru rit now.He is cute,he is a flirt n so many girls are jelous abt u.This make u feel like a queen.i understand.Now u enjoy all the attension but later u will regret.What if he leaves after sometime when u have realy started liking him.Flirts can never make a good partner u kno.If he finds someone else beautiful then u.He will leave n go behind that girl.Its difficult get true love these days.So b careful.