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Is ther anyone out there married to an ex child molester?
My parents stayed together after my Dad molested my sister. Of course it was a different time and it was not reported. We all grew up loving each other and forgiving the flaws and we all grew to be normal productive citizens. Then I married a man who molested my daughter. I called social service, had him arrested, and divorced him. But the love I feel though changed has never died and my kids are all grown. Can a relationship after the fact still work? Is anybody out there trying it. This man tore my world apart once, I can not go through that again. Is anybody out there making it work?
Personally I don't know how you can love man that violated your child. You probably are this way because your mother loved a molester and so you think, well he'll get better, it's not that bad.
What do you tell you daughter if she sees you with the man that stole her innocence?
Child molestation is not a flaw, it's a crime and they both should be in jail.
I would not call you normal because you have found an excuse for this type of behavior. I suggest you get some therapy to find out how you can feel you love this monster.
I doubt that what you feel is really love for this man. How could you continue to love the man who sexually molested his own daughter? There is forgiveness, yes, but that does not there has to be letting him back in. Do you honestly think that a sexual molester only ever does that once and never again?
If you get back with him, he may never be allowed children - since he should be on a sex offender registry and have provisions of his parole. But then you did not say he actually spent time in prison. If you do get back with him, what happens when he is around his granddaughters? If I were your daughter, it would be a cold day before I would come into the home with my Dad living there. Neither he nor you would be allowed in my home.
I think you do need to see a therapist and find out what makes you tick when it comes to even thinking about letting your ex husband back in.
Dysfunction is handed down from generation to generation.
Your choice of a mate is a perfect example. we get our wiring done in our pre-adolescence and it affects us in ways we don't even know:divorce, alcoholism, infidelity, promiscuity, etc....you have to fight it your whole life...God bless our parents! yikes.
anyway, no way in hell you should bend to the notion that you love him still - and test your love for him.
Never. never. ever...Never....He may be citizen #1, but he was enemy #1 to your kids. And that is not forgettable.....
Can I ask where he lives? I don't want my children anywhere near a monster like this, and I'll move if I have to. I have a beautiful 13 year old daughter and if my husband did that to her I couldn't love him PERIOD.
With love comes respect. I can't imagine respecting a man who stole my child's innocence.
You answered your own question. You know exactly how much pain your sister and daughter went thru, which compounded your own grief.
Keep him out of your life where he belongs. You cannot date him without hurting your daughter and therefore, yourself. Old feelings aren't worth risking the relationship you have with your daughter or your self respect.