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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   Is ther anyone out there married to an ex child molester?

 
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Old Aug 13, 2007, 10:59 AM
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Is ther anyone out there married to an ex child molester?

My parents stayed together after my Dad molested my sister. Of course it was a different time and it was not reported. We all grew up loving each other and forgiving the flaws and we all grew to be normal productive citizens. Then I married a man who molested my daughter. I called social service, had him arrested, and divorced him. But the love I feel though changed has never died and my kids are all grown. Can a relationship after the fact still work? Is anybody out there trying it. This man tore my world apart once, I can not go through that again. Is anybody out there making it work?

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Old Aug 13, 2007, 02:16 PM   #2  
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Personally I don't know how you can love man that violated your child. You probably are this way because your mother loved a molester and so you think, well he'll get better, it's not that bad.
What do you tell you daughter if she sees you with the man that stole her innocence?
Child molestation is not a flaw, it's a crime and they both should be in jail.
I would not call you normal because you have found an excuse for this type of behavior. I suggest you get some therapy to find out how you can feel you love this monster.
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Old Aug 13, 2007, 02:24 PM   #3  
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I doubt that what you feel is really love for this man. How could you continue to love the man who sexually molested his own daughter? There is forgiveness, yes, but that does not there has to be letting him back in. Do you honestly think that a sexual molester only ever does that once and never again?

If you get back with him, he may never be allowed children - since he should be on a sex offender registry and have provisions of his parole. But then you did not say he actually spent time in prison. If you do get back with him, what happens when he is around his granddaughters? If I were your daughter, it would be a cold day before I would come into the home with my Dad living there. Neither he nor you would be allowed in my home.

I think you do need to see a therapist and find out what makes you tick when it comes to even thinking about letting your ex husband back in.

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Homegirl 50 agrees: Sound advice. Seek some help for yourself
Sad Soul agrees: Yes she needs to have no contact with him, just as she did for her daughter, BUT this time for the love of her GRAND-DAUGHTERS
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Old Aug 13, 2007, 02:48 PM   #4  
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Dysfunction is handed down from generation to generation.

Your choice of a mate is a perfect example. we get our wiring done in our pre-adolescence and it affects us in ways we don't even know:divorce, alcoholism, infidelity, promiscuity, etc....you have to fight it your whole life...God bless our parents! yikes.

anyway, no way in hell you should bend to the notion that you love him still - and test your love for him.
Never. never. ever...Never....He may be citizen #1, but he was enemy #1 to your kids. And that is not forgettable.....


Love is real. But it's not always real smart.

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Homegirl 50 agrees: Gave her an explanation as to why she has accepted this behavior
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Old Aug 13, 2007, 02:49 PM   #5  
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Can I ask where he lives? I don't want my children anywhere near a monster like this, and I'll move if I have to. I have a beautiful 13 year old daughter and if my husband did that to her I couldn't love him PERIOD.

With love comes respect. I can't imagine respecting a man who stole my child's innocence.

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Sad Soul agrees: Exactly. He has 0 respect for her if he went and did the most monsterous thing to her daughter!!!
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Old Aug 13, 2007, 11:53 PM   #6  
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What the F***, you should not even consider such an option... Are you for real or is this a wind up.

He is a pervert and should be castrated. The sickist of human kind.

You fell in love with the outward image he portrayed, but you are forgeting the abnormal nature of the person......

What sort of person are you ! to consider being with your daughters abuser...... How do you think this would make her feel ........

Get a grip.

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s_cianci agrees: Another harsh but true response.
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Old Aug 14, 2007, 03:53 AM   #7  
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There is no such thing as an ex child molester. Your child was not the first and probably not the last. You need some help lady.

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Emland agrees: Bingo! There is no such thing as an EX child molester. What he did can never be forgiven.
Sad Soul agrees: Yeah those feelings of what he's attracted to won't vanish.
70ssue : i agree, this woman is seriously deranged
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Old Aug 14, 2007, 04:00 AM   #8  
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I really think that you need some help. You have issue's that you need to deal with. Your mother as well.

To give you an idea of normality.

Would everyone reading this Answer this simple question.

Is peodophila wrong. Yes or No.

Watch the results and then get some help.
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Old Aug 14, 2007, 05:03 AM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4answers
Is peodophila wrong. Yes or No.

Yes. On WAY too many levels.
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Old Aug 14, 2007, 05:45 AM   #10  
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You answered your own question. You know exactly how much pain your sister and daughter went thru, which compounded your own grief.
Keep him out of your life where he belongs. You cannot date him without hurting your daughter and therefore, yourself. Old feelings aren't worth risking the relationship you have with your daughter or your self respect.

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Homegirl 50 agrees: Got to the heart of the matter. She must think about her daugter's feelings.
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