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Ok first off guys and gals. dont get angry with me
im not shallow, im trying to break the habit of that! because i found out that 90% of the time people im normally with are insanely hot but insane!
ok so im a 26 year old. attritive guy. i always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. it was my thing. envy of my friends. but i found that this life is pretty empty
anyway if had some fun times as of late.
and im with this new girl. she chased me a lot. so i thought why not ill give it a go. and i think i found someone i can really connect with on a personal level. and i must say i really really like it.
but she knows the type of girls iv been with and. she goes why are you with me when you could be with the .. Pretty.. types. i told her that its not that important.
now she isnt ugly by no sens. but she isnt that typ of girl i would go for. now before people start saying dont be with her then if you dont think she is pretty or your type, im trying to break a habbit, and i like being with this girl.. but heres the thing.
is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? like have her workout in the gym with me. and get ya hair done etc?
she knows what im like. vain and shallow but i am trying to change i dont think someone who is like that. would be on a site like this.
do you think this is wrong?
as i said girls and guys dont get to angry with me about this post. it shows im growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.
[quote=kp2171]the level of political correctness here just has me stunned.
... 1) dont wear makeup. it is a practice that shows you are too shallow and vain to be comfortable in your own body. no hair dyes either.
2) throw out those sexy clothes, panties, and bras. you know sweatpants are more comfy, so why play into the game of teasing others when you arent willing to let others be pleased by physical attraction?
3) blindfold yourself on dates. apparently physical attraction is the work of the devil, so own up to it. tell me that a guy who hasnt showered in two weeks will attract you because he has inner beauty. try not to gag when you answer.
... if you pluck your eyebrows, wax your 'stache, shave your legs and arms, you are also tied into physical obsession... its just HIS level is icky and yours is ok.[quote]
Hahahahaha.
Ok, fair points. Look, there's nothing wrong with putting an effort into your appearance... and there's DEFINITELY nothing wrong with personal hygiene. It's just that there comes a point where there are some things that CAN'T be changed about a person, and some levels of gloss that just become pointless. And no matter how much you change someone's hair and pint their skin, you can't actually change the way they look... just make some bits shinier. And if they're not into being shiny, you can't really expect them to be. That's not to say you have to find them attractive, but if you DO... what exactly is the problem?
And yeah... there are things about people that I definitely find unatractive, it's not as if anyone here is perfect. For example, people who spit when they speak are... well, I doubt I could get over it... or worse, I'd find it difficult to find a guy who's shorter than me attractive.
But if you've decided that you like them enough to want to make a go of it, you can't expect a sudden change.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueFaith
having said that we are both going to try and make it work. she knows my feelings. she said she will do whatever it takes to make me happy. and i really like that, i told her the same thing
...as for The people here who gave me abuse. Thanks for reply wasnt the best but hey.
i like to think we can all post how we feel and think. and not get judge to harshly but hey im into looks apprantly and your into guys that. well says all the flower typ stuff in movies yay to that!
... i know looks are not the most important thing but its really nice to have both isnt it?
Pleased to hear you're making a go of it and being honest with her. And seriously, I'm sorry for all the abuse you've been getting... you might want to work on tact a little though.
And yeah, it's good to look good, but if you like her, you have to like her for who she is, not who you can try to make her.
i dont think you should go out with her. i was in a similar situation to you (not that i thought i was too good looking, but i just didnt find him that fanciable) but i looked past it for over a year, and in the end you cant help but get bored and look for someone who u like in every way. i am quite into fashion etc, therefore tend not to go for guys with clothes! not shallow, just my type! and if your type is hot, dont go trying to change, find someone hot AND who you get on with.if it feels wrong in any way..then it is!!!
Don't let people convince you to lower your standards. I say that without implying anybody here is doing that, but i've always found that people try to convince me that instead of wanting an attractive full package girl, i should settle for a whatever she comes in package girl.
Personally, i'd rather be single for going on a year and change now to find a girl that makes me happy with a body i want hardcore. Part of being happy is that hardcore sex feeling you get when you see a hot girl plus the knowledge that she's yours.
To get somebody that's good looking, you should invest as much time as you see fit towards being good looking yourself, it's not a one way street. Contrary to what family guy, the simpsons, king of queens, any national lampoon movie will tell you, chicks don't dig on fat lazy guys. So get off your lazy and hit the gym god dammit. I'm all about a prettier country, for both sexes.
Anybody that tries to tell you you're wrong for wanting a sexy partner is foolish. Sexy people want sexy people, and i'll gladly take the pepsi challenge against the boyfriend of anybody that tells me different. 9 months of muay thai and brasilian jiujitsu amount to some amazing abs. Good luck dude.
if she wants to do stuff like get her hair done support her. but don't pressure her. maybe for her bday or valentines or somethig you could send her to a full service day spa, one of the ones where they do hair, make-up, nails, massages. the works. if you treat her to it once, she might find she likes it and keep it up.
going to the gym seems like a great idea. it could be a healthy bonding time for you guys. just be careful how you approach it, if you approach it the wrong way she could think you want her to go because you think she's fat or something awful and that could be devastating on her self esteem.
and when she asks why you're not with "pretty types", your respoonse should be something alog the lines of "but i am, i'm with you."...
going on this site isnt going to change who you are, it's foolish to think so.
A girl doesnt want to be valued just for her looks, looks are obviously more importnant to you than anything else, i suggest you seek some councelling to help find out why you are like this
OK first let me say in TrueFaith's defence, come on guys we have all secretly wanted to change something about our partners. Whether its appearance, intelligence, humor, whatever. That is what this site is for, to say the things you couldnt ask a friend or someone. Lets not act like we havent ever wanted to change a quality....however honey you have to realize you say you want to change yet your on here speaking as though you couldnt be happier with yourself. Whether your a supermodel or a scientist, bragging isnt very becoming of you. The ideas about if you want her to excersize than you excersize too is a good idea but secretly plotting to do these things to turn her into your hot chick isnt good. Its shallow, exactly what your trying to change about yourself. And as for telling the woman on here not to be emotional with their responses...you should take in what their saying and appreciate it because nine out of ten your girlfriend would be writing the same things if she read some of the things you've been writing...How about you compromise, try the gym thing BUT dont ever tell her shes fat. Theres probally a couple things she would change about you but she loves/likes you and would never hurt you by asking you to change these things. I'm not gonna say your horrible for wanting her to change because i too have wanted my partner to change at time. Just learn to compromise. Oh and stop speaking of her as a experiment, you never should use someone in anyway, even if your just "trying something new."
Wow, I don't even know were to begin. Sorry buddy, you can apologize until you're blue in the face, the fact that you talk like you think you walk on water doesn't make me feel very forgiving. Get off your high horse, you are not as great as you think you are, besides, beauty fades. If you really want to change than stop looking down on anyone who doesn't fit your "ideal" standard. I've met allot of extremely attractive people whose personalities stink, the longer I knew them the less attractive they became because their rotten personality shone through. I've also met very unattractive people that were wonderful, intelligent, kind caring people, the longer I've know them the more attractive they are because their personality shone through too. If you only care about outer beauty then you'll end up with an empty shell. Good luck.
but heres the thing. 
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