Hello everyone, I am curious what you think about this situation. I hope that you can provide me some insight, as I am nervous about where things are going. Please help me.

I have been with my girlfriend for a year now, and things went very well until the past few months. We had a short break up that lasted a week, granted it was almost completely my fault, but her fault for not communicating her problems with the relationship earlier on, which she admitted. After no contact for a few days we got together and we talked about things, and we got back together. I said the only way I would get back together with her is if she promised that we could communicate and that this sort of thing would not happen again. She agreed.

Things went well for awhile, but we have a problem again. Lately, she thinks that I want to see her a bit too much and that she isnt able to spend time with friends who want to hang out with her. She is more independent. She says that she still loves me, but she dont know if she will forever because she doesnt like how I am judgemental of certain individuals including some of her friends with a shady past. (I hate drugs and people who use them, and some of them do.) I call them scum bags, slimey, ect. She takes offense to this and I understand.

Also, she gives rides to this guy that doesnt have a car to his job and home a lot. This guy has a girlfriend who is pregnant, I know that it is nothing like that. She isnt even attracted to him. She just likes helping people out. My problem? He always calls on OUR time. She said that I am being unreasonable because it only takes a half hour to pick him up and that I can come along and ride in the car, so its not like we are apart or anything. While this is true, I just hate dropping things for some guy that cant find anyone else to give him a ride.

When we first got together, I had been reading some materials that listed the qualities women wanted. I told her that we couldnt center our lives around each other, that I love an independent woman, that I wanted her to have her own life. I said that I didnt care if she hung out with other guys and that I am secure with that, but if there is any cheating that I cannot forgive it. She loved that I was like this, and I think its why she fell for me so hard initially. Fast forward a year later, and I have become insecure and completely incongruent with my original self. We dont talk as much but she still loves me.

What im asking you guys, is what can I do, how can I show her that I am going back to my old self, so that I dont lose her? I think that it is good that I am realizing this NOW before it is too late and I get myself dumped. Please, anything would help. It's not too late to fix this. How can I get her thinking/missing me again like she did?

workedtoohard

Take her out on the town if you can. Normal mall, bowling stuff can get boring. If there is water near where you live, take her on a ferry or something. It works wonders to show her new places.

High Max

I plan on wowing and amazing her this summer with some adventure and fun places, but I just need to last with her until she graduates in May to show it all to her..

chuff

With all due respect, you two sound like friends not lovers or even potential lovers.

talaniman

I think this is the root of your problem, your relationship is in name only. When you date someone you should spend as much time as possible having fun as you get to no each other. This does NOT sound like a fun relationship. Throw out anything negative, and replace it IMMEDIATELY, with nothing but light-hearted humor, as this female needs to laugh, smile, and have fun, see things and do things. SO DO YOU!!!!

Start by calling and saying you miss her, and hope to see her soon!