Wanna depressed in relationship

sonujl · #1 Jun 6, 2007, 02:58 AM

I am in big trouble can any1 help me ,i am soft girl who never faaced this situation.

Clough · Jun 6, 2007, 03:23 AM

It would help to have more information from you as to what the situation is in order to answer your question better.

sonujl · Jun 6, 2007, 08:58 PM

Hi,

I am 25year old girl,who madly loves a guy from diffrent caste.
we were collegues,started our frndship,then i started calling him everyday n he used to speak to me,but he never used to call me,but he also responded,then he strted asking me why u want to speak to me daily?then i said juz like that.

then u be my close friend,means for him close frined means everything having all kind of relationship.since i was knowing i love him,he was not knowing that,i thought i vll give him everything ,i gave him everything,u can understand rt?then atleast he vll change.it starteed changing for me,caring very much....then i started becomeing very possesive abt him,he din like.then he started not attending my calls,i went wild and attempted for suicide also,then also he said if u die also i vll not come.

before this he tried conviencing a lot with all love,anger that lets w8 for the time,for whatever happnens i vll be there for you.if u don get married to any1 i will there for you he said.

when my sis married,from that time he started reacting like this,that not taking my callls,i went to his house to meet him,but he din come home.

but he is not flirt or something,even he said me that no1 loved me like u after my parents,even it is diffcult for me to live.letes w8 for the time.

vll write more again later.

Clough · Jun 6, 2007, 10:51 PM

If you are only 25 and having so much trouble in the present situation with this guy, you might want to seek out someone else. If you are like most people, you will be attracted to many others. It takes lots of practice and experimentation with people to find that speacial person who is just right for you. Surely you don't want to be having a lot of trouble in a relationship from the beginning of it. I am sure that you will find someone else. It doesn't mean that you won't always have feelings for this person. Your feelings for someone else will probably be stronger because of the nice way that another person will treat you.

It also sounds like he has some personal issues to work out for himself. It looks like you giving him a lot of attention makes him feel good about himself because you are giving him a lot of attention. Leaving you "hanging on a string" so to speak, by saying he will be there for you, if you don't marry someone else is not a promise. It is a way to control you. It sounds like he enjoys being in control of people without giving anything in return to help the relationship. If you went to his house and he was supposed to be there to meet you and he was not there, this should be telling you something about how he really feels about you.

You say that you gave him everything (of yourself) and it sounds like he didn't give you anything of himself. Why continue with him?

Relationships take work from both of the people involved in them. If one of the people involved in the relationship isn't willing to do their part, then it is probably best to find someone else who will share equally in the work necessary to maintain the relationship.

sonujl · Jun 7, 2007, 12:17 AM

yah i too think that he has some personal issues,which he never told me.but i am girl frm decent family,even he is.The problem i think negeatively tat he don like.
I controlled my emotions so much for my parents n deceided whomever they say i will get married to only them.I am very dedicated person,can love a person like anything.
That's i was ready to die also for him.I gave my all means physically also,mentally also.
no1 fits in mind.I will w8 for him till i die orlese i don feel like cheating other person simply getting married to him keeping him in mind.

so I am no more interested in any other guy.i loved him completely i din get inturn anything,which never expected,i loved him like a kid how parents love there kid without expecting anything,thinking he vll change one day,but now i am in position that i cant marry any1.i am ready to live alone no probs.it hurts me,no probs i cant give myself any other person in the world.i din do any mistake rt,i loved a person was ready to do naything for him,do u find any girl like this in the world,who can die also for that person?

he feels very bad when i sry donno why??

Clough · Jun 7, 2007, 12:31 AM

I am not familiar with the customs where you live concerning dating people and marriage. It would help to know where you live. There may be others on this site who know about the customs where you live and could give you advise based on the customs where you live. You only need to give the country name.

Are you from India? You did mention caste in your original post.

I am also wondering why you think that you can't marry anyone else?

sonujl · Jun 7, 2007, 03:05 AM

Yah i am from india.

sonujl · Jun 7, 2007, 03:06 AM

Can any1 else help me in this?

Clough · Jun 8, 2007, 11:55 AM

Dear sonujl,

Thank you for the private message. I hope that you are okay!

I also hope that you act on my suggestions, as it is very important that you get real, live help where you live. Help on this site, although it can be excellent, is not fully reliable because the communication is sent electronically and it could come from someone anywhere in the world. There could be a break down in the electronic computer systems and someone may also not get your responses or messages until much later in time than what you really need.

Like I said in my private message to you, "You need the help of someone who can really, physically be there for you. I couldn't even respond to you last night because we had a storm and the electricity was out."

Here are those links again for someone near to you who can help you.

Home

Sumaitri - HomePage

morgancontessa · Jun 8, 2007, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sonujl

I am in big trouble can any1 help me ,i am soft girl who never faaced this situation.

You need to ease up I understand that you feel like you're in love but men in general do not like to be constantly pursued you have to get some backbone and let him come to you but before that happens you might want to try a little work on you. Ask yourself how much do I really know myself you have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else love does not make you want to commit suicide. Life is to precious



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