Well guys, i went on sunday to the party i have been mentioning and well i cant say that it was such a great idea.
i took the advice and only said hi to her, however evtually in the night we were around the table and after alone on the table. We spoke breifly and somehow talked about her new bf.
either way she took off not long after, i was fine i guess till this morning one of her friends tells me that she would rather not talk to me anymore even consider a friendship later on =(
I am not sure why or what i said to make her feel that way, but i feel like seeing her took me a step back but her having to say she will never be my friend took me even one more step back.....Anyway i feel like i am back to square one and i am not sure why!!!!!! any input?
Whether she likes the idea or not. Your going to be crossing paths at one time or another. I would put my chin up and still say hello. That is it. Whether she wants to be friends or not. I would just let it slip off my back. I do not think talking about her boyfriend was such a good idea, Unless she is the one that brought it up. Oh well, you still need to show her that your strong that when you guys to cross paths you will be the better person.
Well....you really did not take our advice. You should not have spoken with her - period - end of story. But of course you had to. Bad idea, really bad.
You keep shoving a knife in your back. I might suggest a counselour because you don't quite get it.
This lady is a snake and not reall ya very good person. Move on.
It should have been - hello - that's it.
She sees a sick puppy dog in you. Needy.
WHY on earth are you talking about her boyfriend. So insecure. You should have said I don't care and walked away.
I still don't understand why on earth you would want to be friends with a person that did all this to you....and now more.
You knew it was a really bad idea to talk with her - and now she has a concrete opinion of you.
Now would be a very good time to go back to square one and renew the no contact rule. Forget the curiosity and move on with your life. Leave the past where it belongs and forget this female completely.
Yep - the plan was NOT to talk with her....yet you did....and she hit you with an upper cut.
Your whole appearance SHOULD HAVE been one of indiffference and not caring one bit about her. You shoudl have walked away from that table...yet you need attention from her and she smelled it - not vewry attractive.
You made a mistake by talking to her. But I understand why you did. Avoid her. At all costs. If you know she'll be somewhere, be somewhere else. It sucks for me too. I go to school with her. And invariably, I will run into her. But I decided I won't go anywhere she will be. And it is sad, because I was at the school first, I know the people better. But seeing someone who insulted me as she did, and continues to insult me by not being civil, walking past me without saying a word, not even "hi" makes me feel bad, and very angry. So it is extreme on my part, but I don't want to go to parties, functions, events where she is, even if my friends are there.
i know how much it sucks when your ex is the one deciding things and you just have to learn to accept it. my ex bf called me and said the same thing your ex gf did. he told me he was moving on, that i should too and that he does not even want to be friends- he prob. never will. the thing is, i had never wanted to be his friend, but the finality of it all was overwhelming. its really hard when something takes us back a step after time to recover and then you feel like you have to do it all over again. just remember even if it feels like u took some steps back- u have taken too many forward to ever return to square one- we all feel this way when we see an ex or talk to them or even allow ourselves to cry at something that reminds us of them. you have to go back to the no contact and stick to it no matter if u see her again, or if you feel like calling- call a friend or go out- dont go back there- its too painful. i know its hard and im not telling you to change your life, but i know that my ex bf is a manager at a certain store, so i avoid that store. it doesnt have to be drastic like mine, but i mean it is always better not to even put urself in that situation. anyhow, you cant always plan life and it is probable that we will run into our ex at some point in our life. but when you do just keep ur distance or if you want to just say hello or something ( no more than a friendly hi) but most of all keep your dignity. Anyhow- dont beat urself up. it didnt go the way you planned or how you would have liked it, but everything happens for a reason and maybe this way the no contact will help you to really move on for good. anyhow, everyone falls down but it takes the strong at heart to get back up and keep going. you are doing amazing and just let her go on her way. goodluck!
Letting others make you feel one way or another.... letting them decide what goes down and what doesn't.... taking on any of the shame of their bad manners..... or letting them set the conversation agenda and listening to stuff that is plainly none of your business....
Makes me wonder if there is an adult here instead of a candle in the wind. The answer to most of this is that dirty word: Responsibility!
Location: Now hailing from St. Petersburg, Florida US of A, North America, planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy.
Posts: 3,308
Kad, If your going to ask for advice on this website or anyone like it than you have to be prepared to follow that advice. You wanted the hollywood ending where she would wake up and realize your the man of her dreams. The problem is we don't live in the movies. We live in real life and she's using you. When everybody said don't talk to her they meant not at all. Quite frankly, she doesn't even deserve a hello. She already put the dagger in your heart, now she's twisting it. The worst part is you let her.
If you ask for advice then, for the love of God, follow that advice. Especially when all the advice is consistent. Look, I'm not trying to run you down, because I've recently been where your at but nobody on this board has an emotional attactment to this woman like you do. If you know she's gonna be somewhere than avoid that place. Don't do it for her, but do it for yourself. Going to a party that she was going to be at was asking for trouble. Talking to her, alone non the less, was giving her all your power.
If you don't know what to do, and it's cool if don't then follow the advice of those that do. Follow it now and if you get stuck ask again but whatever you follow it. DO NOT do what you think is best. Your wrong. Your thinking with your emotionals, not rational thoughts.
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