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Update: Ex-Girlfriend Says I was Rude For Returning Her Presents
Hey,
Got a text message earlier today from my ex-girlfriend. She basically said, "That was rude of you to take back my presents when I have yours at home." As soon as I read that, I started typing a reply which said, "Rude? What am I supposed to think when you stop seeing me and talking to me?" Caught myself just in the nick of time before hitting the send icon. I'm proud of myself that I ignored her. If I did send the message, I'm sure her reply would have been, "Well, you stopped calling." If you suspected your girlfriend of seeing somebody else(i.e. acting weird, over the limit on a credit card that was opened recently, lack of attention, lack of affection-basically just an abrupt change), would that make you think twice before calling.? She's done this before, and there is usually another guy involved. I sort of find the whole thing funny-I've loaned her money before but never asked for it back and I tried to show her that I wanted to make another go at it when we started talking briefly after Thanksgiving. Then I bought her Christmas presents but really showed me no interest on her end so I went NC and everything went back. Do you think this girl really deserves anything, even if she still has a present for me? (Which, by the way I heard nothing from her on Christmas or New Years.) Jason
Hey,
All I can say is, "Amen to that!" for every one of your replies. Seriously, what does she expect? For me to call her everyday and show her attention when there is another guy in the picture? Maybe there isn't another guy, but over the past 5 months all of her actions are indicative of another love interest based on her history. As the old cliche goes, "you can't have your cake and eat it too"-so it is with her. Had we continued to reconcile when we started talking after Thanksgiving(seeing and talking to each other on a regular basis), then I would have not returned her present and went NC. We made love once during that time and I honestly thought things were going to improve. But when I talked to her several days before Christmas(I did as she said, I called her), that blew the deal. I told her, "I love in you..."-several other co-workers were around to hear us talking and I felt embarrassed. She said nothing and for some reason that just left a knot in my stomach. I asked, "Did you hear me?" She's like, "Yeah, I heard you." Then she told me to call her and I said, "Oh, I may if I feel like it." During that conversation, she could hardly say anything. I had a feeling that maybe she was out with her new interest and tried to keep the words to a minimum. I then resolved to go NC. Christmas passed...nothing from her. New Years passed, still nothing. Then out of the blue on Jan. 8 she texts me wanting to give me a present. I don't want her present...I've given her plenty and never asked for it back. She even has my engagement ring and I don't plan on asking for it back. Jason
Kids, when ignored, will misbehave to get at least some negative attention from their parents. Way to go for not letting her goad you back into a pointless interaction.
Any other messages or missives you receive from her, just agree mentally..."she's right..."....then delete away. Calm preserved. <sigh of relief>
always trust your gut instinct. 99% of the time its right. trust me ive been burned many a time not listening to that little voice in the back of my head that was telling me that something was going on. my advise would be just to move on and let it go. youve already said before that you have been through this b4 so how many times more are you going to continue to do it. i mean really is this someone you would want to make a life with and you dont even trust that person
She deserves nothing, you need to stay away. Rude, Not really. You keep the no contact and it is better to keep it that way. Like others have said, you do not owe her anything.
Hey!
Another resounding "Amen". This situation with her has left me ruminating about what went wrong. I saw alot of signs that I did not trust and therefore stopped contacting her back in September . She further reinforced my suspicions by not contacting me or coming over to see me for that matter. When we started talking again, she said that she thought I wasn't interested anymore and that I stopped calling. I confronted her with, "Well, I thought you were seeing somebody else." She just shrugged it off and denied it. Of course, I think she started this garbage. She'll probably tell you that I started it by not talking to her anymore. Well, I'm going to finish it. I'm glad I'm not alone with my opinion. Take care everybody! Jason
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