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Journal entries aside, you said he was hitting on you when he was in another relationship. What makes you think he wouldn't hit on someone else when he's in a relationship with you? People often think that their boyfriend/girlfriend will treat them different than they did other people they dated. However, people are pretty easy to predict. If he did it before, he's likely to do it again. Ever heard "A leopard can't change its spots?"
As for the journal reading, you either don't trust him as you felt the need to check up on him, or you don't respect his privacy. Either way, its not the action you want to take with someone you want to maintain a relationship with.
in ways i can understand how u feel. i just got out of a 2 year relationship and am having a hard time letting go still. so i know how badly you want this to work. first of all i wouldnt let him know you read his journal. it might make him extrememly mad at you. second of all, and i know you might not want to hear this but- do u think he tried it with this new girl and when it didnt work he came back to u because he knew u were still there? im sorry but that would kill me to even think like that and so i can only imagine ur pain. and the fact that u dont trust him ( even if u say u do reading his personal items means u dont) thats not a healthy relationship. i think its time for you to let go...its hard trust me i definitly know. anyhow this is just my opinion, and if u feel like u want to still work on it then thats ur decision. goodluck and if u need to talk u can message me on here! hope it gets better...
... and i know you might not want to hear this but- do u think he tried it with this new girl and when it didnt work he came back to u because he knew u were still there?
When you add:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northwind_Dagas
... you said he was hitting on you when he was in another relationship. What makes you think he wouldn't hit on someone else when he's in a relationship with you?
You get a person that is probably settling on what can meets their immediate needs. At the moment... you're in demand.
I suspect that in another year or three, he will have another obsession. If that obsession gives in to him, he will cheat on you - both phycially and emotionally.
And when you get through that... the next obsession will come.
I think it's move on time. For your own well being.
the major fighting was the months before we broke up. after we got back together it's been going really well so far and he's been really good to me, making efforts, etc. And yes i want it to work, i'm just nervous we got back together too soon and didn't give it enough time...
but do i bring this up to him? if i break it off (if we break up again it would be for good), how do i know it wouldn't have worked out since it's going well now?
but do i bring this up to him? if i break it off (if we break up again it would be for good), how do i know it wouldn't have worked out since it's going well now?
I wouldn't bring it up, it won't help and will only leave you in bad light.
The chances are against you that it will 'work out' as he is likely to do as he's done before. People do change, but it doesn't happen over night.
How happy can you honestly be in a relationship where you will have to second-guess everything he does or says?
You have to take an honest objective look at the relationship, and figure out if the small chance it will work is worth the heartache you will go through when it doesn't work. Remember, you don't have to settle. There are other people that could make you happy.
i know, but it's not that common to come across someone you can see your future with.
to what tirednhurt was asking, i know he hasn't cheated on me or on past relationships. he's known this girl much longer before he's met me b/c they work together, so i know he developed feelings for her when we were having major issues. then we broke up, but that was b/c of our issues (our fights/probs started before she came into the picture).
i know, but it's not that common to come across someone you can see your future with.
If you see your future with someone you can't trust, I'm not sure what advice you're hoping to get here.
Trust is one of the most important parts of a relationship, and without it, the relationship is doomed. Communication is another important element, and from what you've said in this post and in another, that's been an issue as well.
What I see is that you keep rationalizing his behavior as though it is somehow okay. Will it be okay if you get married, and he cheats with someone as long as he's known them a long time? Or is it okay for him to cheat if you just had a fight? Does that really make sense?
Whether or not he actually slept with this other person doesn't so much matter, as he obviously became emotionally invested with her.
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