I suppose this is a sort of follow-up to my original post.

My ex and I have been separated for some time, and I have not contacted her, though she seems to need to contact me often. That is besides the point of this post.

I feel that I am beginning to get over it. When I walk, I feel taller and better about myself that I used to. I no longer walk around feeling depressed and upset constantly -- not to say that I dont have my moments. Though overall, I am starting to see myself in a better light than I can remember for quite some time now.

The problem I have now is that I have visions of my ex being with other people and being happy with them. I know it is selfish for me to think that she wont move on to someone else, and she has told me she isnt looking for someone now, it just hurts for me to think of her having what we had, with someone else.

Are these thoughts normal? Is there something wrong with my head?

Teaching

It is completely normal for you to feel this way. It is always hard to see someone with your ex, it is heartbreaking. However in time things will heal. Try to think positively, I know it is hard, thinking about it negatively will just wear you out.

daisydew

My ex got together with someone just a couple few weeks after we broke up. It was really devastating..I think I pretty much had a total melt down. I took about three days off from school and pretty much just cried.

On the other hand, the worst thing that could have happened is now over with. I feel like I've dealt with the worst of it and can finally move on. He was leading me on for a long time and him being with someone else let me see how he really felt about me.

I'm not sure what your situation is, if you're still talking to her or not. I think the best thing is just to make it so there's no way you can really find out if she's with someone else. If you do end up finding out that she has moved on, it will hurt, but you will get through it!

sypher373

Well, she isnt with anyone else, and I have no reason to believe that she will be for a very long time. She is pretty upset about this, and I talked to her about not calling me as often, and she is taking it harder than I am, so im pretty confused. It seems like she still feels strongly for me, though she told me she didnt.

My mind is just playing tricks on me, and I think about the future too much.

Thanks for the input guys

entrepinoy

I think that anyone who has ever been in a failed relationship tries to comfort themselves by thinking that they are better off than their ex. It's completely natural because we are insecure beings. Of course more often than not it is much harder when the wounds are fresh but give it time and your feelings will level out.
Maybe her "need to contact you often" is the reason for you being upset when you think about her being happy with someone else. This act is making you feel like she still needs you and that you are the only one who she needs.
I think it was good for you to tell her that her calls weren't helping you mend. Honestly, the best person to look out for yourself is YOURSELF. You can't help her with her issues if you haven't dealt with them on your own.
My 2 cents.

sypher373

entrepinoy, that was pretty much my line of thinking.

She messaged me again, and I am confused becuase she acts like she misses me. I don't know whether to think she truly misses me, or if she is just making sure I am still here waiting. Currently, I am trying to pull myself away so taht I dont look despearate, and appear as I am waiting for her calls. I want to be here for her, but i dont want to let her think I am sitting here waiting to catch her if she falls.

She cut me out of her life, and she needs to accept that...am i right?

LBP

Specifically, Sypher, you need to accept it - cut her off. For the sake of maintaining a friendship with her, please do this. You're going to feel a lot of bitterness and resentment to her because of this (rightly so) and it's only going to lead to hurt if you allow her to stay in your life. 3 months at least. Go from there.

kp2171

absolutely normal.

every girl ive loved and lost, whether i broke it off or she did, ive had these thoughts about to some degree. obviously more when you are the one with the broken heart.

so yeah, it is absolutely normal. and it goes away.

hell, i still wonder now and then if my ex-gf's think about me ever... and im a happily married man in a fantastic relationship whod never cheat.

you had a connection. itll always be there. but at some point you stop thinking about what you are missing, and the fact they have moved on doesnt bug you.

MrsDead

maybe jealousy. summit like that

TrueFaith

its all normaly man i mean wow we have all been there my friend... if i had it my way all my Xs would be painful upset and depresst with out me never moving on!.. but sadly i know thats not true i guess the best thing is to not even think about it. or try this.. try thinking about all the bad points that she has.. and think of what the new guy has to put up with! and think of the poor guy when she leaves him..