My ex always says she loves me and cares about me. We have been together for about 10months, but we were friends for about a year before we started actually going out. Our relationship was great. She always expressed she is the happiest she has even been with me, i was the best boyfriend she ever had. None of her last boyfriend has ever been as sweet or as nice to her. I gave her the best sex she has ever had, she said actually felt more like making love. I was basically her first for everything but sex. I was first to buy her flowers, take her out to fancy restaurant, first for her mom and friends to like, actually care for her and the list goes on. All of her past boyfriend were just not good to her at all, i was the only good guy. Just all around best boyfriend.

I mean just like everyother couple had our arguements. But it was a saturday night she gave me that line "go out with your friends i dont care, have fun!" she could not come out with us because she was unable to. Guess she really wanted me to stay? However she suggested she wants to go on a break the next day. She said she needs space and time to think and to basically have some time to herself for a little. She hasn't really ever been single before that also was factor. Like she said she justs want a little time to herself. She said repeatedly because i asked so much. She is not breaking for another guy or because she wants to have sex with someone else, its for something so much more. Just wants time for herself and just wants to live the single life for a little (like to go out to a club a few times and be able to flirt without hurting my feelings). Which i was mad about but could understand because she has never really been able to flirt in life, because she has always been in relationships. But she said to me your not just some other guy i love you so much and i could see myself really being with you for a very long time etc. Before we got together when were friends i used to go out alot to clubs and flirt with girls all the time and she said you got to live that life why cant i? which is understandable. Just hopes she realized like i did that, that life gets old and meaningless.

We have argued alot after the break of course i beg and tried to get her back(the usual thing). but now its been about two weeks i have given her her space. have not called, text, etc. She usually ends up texting me everyday to see how im doing what i been up to etc. and also says thanks i appreciate for listening to her and giving her space and even asked to meet up with me a few times because she says she misses me. We met up last night (wednesday night) it was just like normal we were happy and enjoying each other's company. When were leaving I went to give her a kiss (she thought of the lips), she said wait we still not together. So i gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. then she came to me gave me a kiss on both cheeks and on the forehead. Then she was wondering if i wanted to chill again friday. I said yes. I dont want to get my hopes up, but maybe not talking to her and giving her space helped.

I still love her and care for her alot. Hope following these guidelines will help because i want to get back together one day soon.

Also she wants to chill tomorrow. Is that fine to chill with her? how long? how should i act? Also should I bring up about has she been thinking about us being back together? etc

dodgy_dave

Just see where it goes. You have both had time to think about your feelings for each other after being apart for a little while, if you have missed each others intimate company then I think maybe you should approach the subject of what is going on between you; maybe leave it to her to bring up though...she was the one that asked for the break afterall!

Mixwell

yeah thats true ill definitely consider that.


Anymore advice would be helpful people. Free feel to leave more suggestions. want alot before tomorrow

Handyman2007

Yeah, play it out but she is definitely looking other places. Bottom line. Been there,,HAD THAT DONE TO ME!!

spion_kop

I dont want to be pessemistic, but my ex gave me that line too about wanting to be single and experencing that life. I too was her first for a lot of things, i was her first kiss!. We've never had sex however. Two days after we broke up she is dating another guy..

All I can say is that, dont be fooled. She may care a lot about you but she may not see you in her life at the moment. Be sure to keep an open mind and to enjoy your life. Also, try not to always see her because she left you, remember that. Try to be a bit more independent.

yangjian

是的，就像上楼的仁兄说的，只要她的心已经离开了你，就不必再去强求，顺其自然吧！

Handyman2007

HUH????????????

nickshehe

Well I'm going to be realistic/border line pessimistic here, I got the same line from my girlfriend and then I got dumped officially..You're giving her everything she's asking, fair enough, you're a nice guy..You're hoping this break will make her miss you and realize her mistake e.t.c. How can she miss you if you're "chilling" every day?
She doesn't want to be official with you but she wants to see you when she misses you? OR she's bored?..This girl is taking a lot more than she's giving..If whenever she asks for you, now, as a "friend", you're there - theres NO WAY she will be thinking about having a relationship with you..Because think about it, why did she want to call it a break?
-flirt with other guys
-see what else is out there
-"time for herself" -(lol I love that line..)

What are you giving her?
-liberty to flirt with other guys
-see what else is out there
-"time for herself"
-BONUS: I still have my ex boyfriends company when I need it.

..Pressuring her into a decision will only make her run. What you need to do is stop all contact with her before she makes a habit of stringing you along..

What I would do?
Stop contact and start running away. - she will hurt you.
An alternative - which I disapprove as I don't like to "play":

Play her at her own game, tell her that she could be RIGHT, that you may BOTH need time for yourselves, and suggest you take an official break where you don't contact each other for a couple of weeks, until you BOTH (key word) figure out what it is you want-because you can't solve anything if you're together but not together..and in 2 weeks time or WHENEVER "YOU'LL SEE" (key words)...but you never contact her..This will probably drive her insane and have her run back to you like a puppy..but you have to resist the first couple of weeks..make her work for your attention so she knows you aren't messing about..

good luck

spion_kop

nickshehe: I did the exact same thing with my gf. I decided to play her own game AND keep NC. To be fair, I didnt want her back after what she did.
Mixwell: It's better that you picture your life without her at the moment because that is what she is trying to do to you. DO NOT!! let her string you along, because in the end that will just hurt you a lot.
You have time to grieve and to be sad but the best thing you can do is write down all the reasons on why she's doing this to you and analyze the person that she is. If a person who really loves you and cares about you does this to you, does it mean that they loved you unconditionally? Think about it, and understand that it is better that this happened now and not maybe 4 years down the line or maybe when you were married. Think of this as a great experience in life and how you can learn so much from it and be the better person.
***Remember, it takes a big person to end a relationship even though they are comfortable and safe in it. It takes a bigger person to get up after they've been down, dust themselves up, keep their chin up and continue with their life. YOU CAN BE THE BIGGER PERSON

Mixwell

thanks for all the responses, it really got me feeling a bit better. she made it official last night she just doesnt feel the same for me anymore and cant picture herself with me right now, but there is no one else in her life now she said repeatedly. also she said just needs to time to herself. still dont know exactly what that means. I guess i gotta give it time so i can get over her and i guess remain friends with her. Just so horrible how this happened i was so good to her and everything was great, the next day all has change. Just hard to understand sometimes you know? its not like i cheated on her or something like that. its like for no exact reason that is making it the hardest for me. well im not going to contact her. Trying to get over this soon, im not waiting or hoping but maybe in future we'll be together again.