Hi
I'm new to this forum today. My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. I am still in love with him. I think he is in love with me too. He never told me he was in love with me though. The thing is... we have a huge age difference. I'm 32 and he is 24. I'm also his first girlfriend! We met up last Sunday. It was like we had never left each other. All of my feelings came back and I could tell his did too. The thing that surprised me and I forgot about during the time we were apart was the butterflies I get whenever he touches me. We ended up hugging for a really long time and I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest and I know he was feeling the same thing. He felt like putty in my arms. It was the most amazing thing!

The thing I don't understand is.. how does someone feel that way about someone else but be able to let it go? Is he scared? I think he might have a fear of what he will be giving up if he is with me. He said that he wanted to end up with the person who makes him happy and he said that was me. We even talked about the future. He even asked if he could see me once a week and asked if I could wait for him. I told him no. I told him that since we were in a relationship we can't just be friends right away. I said it doesn't work that way. I told him I wasn't going to contact him until I was over him. I told him he was taking a big risk of letting me go and date other people. I told him that I could meet someone else. He had the look in his eyes like he was totally in love with me. I feel like he is afraid to tell me the words. He gets jealous about me dating other guys too.

He knows I still love him, and I told him I thought about waiting for him but if I did that he wouldn't respect me. I told him I had to move on right now because there is nothing else to do. I can't wait around for him because that would only make me unhappy.

He said I was a smart woman and I was probably right.

He said if he did come back to me that he would show up at my house, and that the next move needs to be made my him anyway. I told him I knew that.

So, it really sucks because I have to move on but I know what we have is real love. It's the kind of love that lasts forever! Why can't he see it?

What do ya'll think?

cerisa

So sorry Webelong, You are wise to let him go. This situation is why the many 20 yr. olds (and younger) need to pay attention before they lecture on why it is so smart to be married young. Young men especially feel constricted sometime a few years into a relationship when they come to realise thier youth is measured, and they did not have a chance to 'sow thier wild oats' so to speak. Not that it is a great thing to 'screw a lot of girls' nor do I recommend it. But it is a fact of life that we mature at different rates, and understanding life is a lifelong process, we can't understand the experiences of the next stage of our life until we are in it. So often that realisation comes at the expense of a relationship, and maybe of a family, and then others suffer too. Good luck to you.

MissingHim2Much

I haven't dated at all yet and it's been over three months. I know I'm not ready so I don't feel I should even attempt it until i'm sure. Just thinking about being with someone else right now still freaks me out. When you make up your mind that you want to spend your life with someone and then it's suddenly over it's tough to get out of that " THIS IS FOREVER" mindset.

MissingHim2Much

Very good point cerisa. I fought off falling for him for many months because of this reason but after 3 or 4 yrs of him sticking around and proving he wasn't going anywhere I let my guard down and fell hard. At that point I did make the mistake of thinking he was going to be there forever...I think I forgot about the 7 year itch though OOPS.

statictable

Thank you for your follow-up and best wishes