Confusing love with obsession by a dr. ! I forget who.

Jiser · #1 Jun 11, 2007, 07:58 AM

1) How do you define "love" and "obsession"?
Love is a growth experience that ideally should be mutually shared by both parties involved in the relationship. Obsession however has a strong caustic element ... it is dependent and lacks nurturing ... it is anxiety based and manic. Love can also be healing ... obsession however is destructive. When we spend more time thinking about [i]how[i] to make another love us, rather than asking how much we love ourselves in the relationship, then we know we might have a problem

2) Is there some degree of obsession involved in your definition of a healthy love, can this obsession itself be normal and healthy, and if so, under what conditions?
Love is a creative, powerful and healing force. Therefore, it should not contain any definition of obsession. What's more, love is not conditional. In other words, no "this for that" (quid pro quo). Healthy love can be recognized for its naked, unabashed presence.

3) You identify and describe quite articulately and effectively the stages of obsession using the analogy of a wheel. My question is, what are specific techniques people can use to not only identify their exact position on this wheel, but also gain control of their position on this wheel in light of possibly overwhelming feelings and have better relationships as a result?

Great question! The book specifically addresses this question however, I can tell you that some folks go for years jumping from "love wheel to love wheel" at various stages before realizing that there is a problem. The first step is recognizing a problem exists. The second step of course is reaching out for help. There is no shame by the way in asking for help (support). In fact, the strongest thing a person can do is say, "I want to change the way things are going." There are support groups available as well as good helping professionals (counselors) who can offer great insight, etc. Change does not happen over night ...it takes time. But you know, the length of a minute depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on

Hope that helps!



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!