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    Are there signs that your boyfriend may be interested in someone else?

    Asked Apr 9, 2012, 05:35 PM 8 Answers
    What are the sign that your boyfriend may be interested in someone else? When should you worry about someone else that is around both of you often?

    Last edited by talaniman; Apr 10, 2012 at 06:16 AM.
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 75,733, Reputation: 7221
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    #2

    Apr 9, 2012, 05:38 PM


    They chance their status on Facebook. They spend all their time texting someone else.
    They call you by the wrong name.

    In all seriousness, you don't know, read all of the posts here, the party that is "left" almost never see it coming, they think everything is fine.
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    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 1,978, Reputation: 551
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    #3

    Apr 9, 2012, 05:42 PM
    It depends on the guy, some of us are happy to say that we don't show any signs... joking of course.

    Talk to him about your concerns, see how he reacts, what is it that is making you think he has someone on the side, or is trying to find someone on the side?
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,101, Reputation: 10295
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    #4

    Apr 10, 2012, 06:21 AM


    More details! Like define interest, and who is hanging out too much?
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    spaz15's Avatar
    spaz15 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 10, 2012, 08:01 AM
    Someone that is part of a group of friends that we hang out with. Neither of us know her but right away he started talking to her and him and his friend tease her a lot, she is much younger than us (12 years) but is cute, however she is very open about personal things you don't normally share with someone you have just met.

    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    More details! Like define interest, and who is hanging out to much?
    Interest in he talks to her a lot while we are there and he and his friend tease her a lot. I have seen him checking her out and his friend joked one night that she was sleeping naked and he said he wanted to go see. When I got upset he said I shouldn't get upset about seeing another girl naked, that he wasn't going to touch just look. I found that disrespectful. All I know is since that incident I feel uncomfortable when we are around her. This is someone who has been around recently amongst a group of friends that my boyfriend and I don't know. I have told him it bothers me and asked him if he was interested in her. He said no. I just don't want to in a month or so from now find out he did something with her or he leaves because he wants her.

    What to do if a talk turns into a fight that he leaves or says lets breakup

    People say my boyfriend is a player and is playing head games. What are the signs that you are with a player
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    angle101's Avatar
    angle101 Posts: 13, Reputation: -1
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    #6

    Apr 10, 2012, 09:46 AM
    Well I nesesarly think that you should talk to him about the thing that makes you feel like he is a cheater but I think the only one who could answer that question is you because you are around him and you see the changes from the begging of your relationship that way you can find out too
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,101, Reputation: 10295
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    #7

    Apr 10, 2012, 12:52 PM


    When his behavior crosses a line, then you talk to him, and if he cannot talk and help you find a resolution, or reassure you enough, quite simply you may be with the wrong person.

    Most players are masters of deceit, and lies, and can hide there true intentions. Its more than careful observation, its also a question of how well he works with you and goes to compatibility than being a player. He may just be a crude, rude fellow, and the ones that warn you he is a player, may have an agenda, they may not, you just have to consider the source as to how truthful they are.

    So how long have you been with this fellow, and how well do you know each other? How long has he been acting this way, or is this something that just started? How old are you both?

    Have you always been suspicious, or insecure? All of these questions can be factors on your feelings.
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    spaz15's Avatar
    spaz15 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Apr 11, 2012, 08:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    When his behavior crosses a line, then you talk to him, and if he cannot talk and help you find a resolution, or reassure you enough, quite simply you may be with the wrong person.

    Most players are masters of deceit, and lies, and can hide there true intentions. Its more than careful observation, its also a question of how well he works with you and goes to compatibility than being a player. He may just be a crude, rude fellow, and the ones that warn you he is a player, may have an agenda, they may not, you just have to consider the source as to how truthful they are.

    So how long have you been with this fellow, and how well do you know each other? How long has he been acting this way, or is this something that just started? How old are you both?

    Have you always been suspicious, or insecure? All of these questions can be factors on your feelings.
    We started dating 3 yrs ago officially became a couple 10 months ago. I would like to say we know each other well. We have had many talks about what we both want in life and in a relationship. Up until some stressors in his life last winter, he was attentive, affectionate, seemed into me. After the holidays he went through a depression and became withdrawn. He talk openly when Id ask what was going on whether his feelings for me had changed. He said they hadn't he was consumed with recent stressful events in his life. After a few months I told him I would support him but needed reassurance that he still wanted me around. I told him it made me unhappy to question whether he still loved me or wanted me around. He told me he didn't want me unhappy didn't think it was fair to me that his stressors were affecting me and would leave if I wanted him to. I told him I would stay as long as he wanted me around and if we were meant to be we would work this. He treats me good most of the time. Most of our fights occur when he has been drinking too much. His drinking has increased lately and that's when he does or says things that either hurt me or make me angry. As far as the girl I have already told him how I feel regarding his actions. I am not saying anymore unless another incident occurs that leaves me uncomfortable. At that point I will tell him he has a decision to make whether what we have means enough to him to make an effort to make the relationship work.

    I just started feeling suspicious and insecure when his actions changed after the new stressors that developed in his life. Until then I was happy and confident with him.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,101, Reputation: 10295
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    #9

    Apr 11, 2012, 08:59 AM
    Thank you for your feed back, as I was wondering if you were over reacting because of baggage from the past. It seems you are not,

    He treats me good most of the time. Most of our fights occur when he has been drinking too much. His drinking has increased lately and thats when he does or says things that either hurt me or make me angry. As far as the girl I have already told him how I feel regarding his actions. I am not saying anymore unless another incident occurs that leaves me uncomfortable. At that point I will tell him he has a decision to make whether what we have means enough to him to make an effort to make the relationship work.
    Alcohol is a mind, and mood altering drug, It makes you feel good at first, but lowers all reason, and inhibitions, and results in mindless emotional rants and behavior. If indeed he is self medicating to cope with stress, he will bring stress to you.

    Your strategy to make him make a decision is a good one if you get the proper education about alcohol, and its effects, from ALANON or some other support group, just to know what you will face as this goes on.
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