well, i have been seeing this gril for like six months now.tow months ago she told me that she wanted a pause in our relationship i dint understand that when i told her we break up she said no we jus have a pause i told her its ok with her for me my life moves on.few weeks later she started calling and texting that she is sure am the right one for her.she is ready for me to meet her parents and she want to move in with me.she say she now loves me.should i move in with her. is it true that she love me or she is after something else.my fear is that she may again say she want a pause.i aske3d her about this and she say she wanted to clear her head thats why she wanted a pause what can i do

ChihuahuaMomma

Or she saw an opportunity with someone else, and learned that the grass wasn't greener on the other side. I would wait another six months to make sure its a good idea.

serena6878

From the way you handle things between you and her, I don't think you love her. You told her it was OK when she wanted a pause and you could move on. You didn't dig up a reason, and you did nothing to save the relationship.
And I don't think she loves you either. It seems that the "important" way she shows her love is to move in with you. It is just a physical thing for you two.
Before being in love, why not try to be good friends?

450donn

Remember,
Friends first
then marriage,
then sex.
Moving in together turns thing up side down. Not a good idea. Besides your post does not say much about loving her, just dating for 6 months. Probably a better idea would be to take another break and decide how much you really want this girl in your life and for how long.

ChihuahuaMomma

Not everyone agrees with this. Sex before is marriage is fine if within your beliefs. That's not the applicable situation here.

spitvenom

I don't think 6 months is long enough to move in together. I am not saying wait until you are married but wait at least a year or two. Personally I think people should live together before they get married. What if you get married and find out the person is a living nightmare to live with then you are stuck.

jolienoire

MOVING IT??? As if that was going to solve your problems.. Just decline, besides after 6 months she wants a break, and then come back out of the blue wanting to move in and having you meet the parents.. I don't think so.

ChihuahuaMomma

That's what I was saying...seems fishy to me..

JBeaucaire

The poster is only asking about moving in and not about sex before marriage. We must resist our "speechifying" tendencies, eh people? I'm a big speecher, too, so trust me, I know how easy it is to go into "lecture mode" about stuff we weren't asked.

Anyway. What to do? Well, if you don't mind living a life like a puppet on a string, just keep taking your lead from her and doing what she wants. That will only work if you really love her and have no need for say-so of your own.

Is that how you are? You don't have any actual opinions about the right and wrong way to do things? You're OK with her dropping in and out on her whims and you just do as your told?

If not, but you still want her back, stop taking instructions from her. Start giving some of your own:

"If the pause is over, that is fine. But you will keep your home and I will keep mine. My independence is very important and I know you will respect me for it. I learned that during our 'pause', so thanks for that. And we can start seeing each other again, but I've decided we will take things nice and slow, no pressure and no more silly business. I'm sure you agree, yes?"

Take some control here, no need to be mean, just no need to be a doormat, either.

ChihuahuaMomma

Very good advice, AS USUSAL, from JBeaucaire!!!