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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   What to do?

 
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Old Jul 1, 2006, 11:48 PM
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What to do?

i was just wondering if you could help me. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have a 14 month year old boy. i am 18 and he is 23. I know we met at a really young age and that is why i excuss so many of our problems. I love him but i have cheated on him more then 5 times(he doesnt know). i recently found out that he was talking with another girl...and i know he wanted to have sex with her. he said they only met once and they have only talked on the phone ever since....i told him to stp talking to her, he said he did, 2 months later i she called and he admitted to talking with her again and nothing else. i forgave him cause i know i have done worse but at the same time i know i am a changed women.....but i just cant feel ok around him anymore....we are trying to put this behind us but i just cant get over it. i dont trust him anymore but i know i want to spend the rest of my life with him....What should i do??

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Old Jul 2, 2006, 12:41 AM   #2  
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The reason you fill that you can't trust him is because you have cheated.
You have to sit down and talk to him about your concerns and come clean with him.
Maybe he has cheated on you.
You can not make a relationship work unless both people who are involved are honest with each other.

Comments on this post
Chery agrees: get it out somehow, or it will haunt you and you'll never be happy
sombra_de_ti agrees: Yes agreed I am new,but trust n honesty is bases..
talaniman agrees: A relationship built on guilt and mistrust is not healthy
Crybaby9112001 agrees: I know you are right, i think i just needed to hear it.
RIZA : HELLO
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Old Jul 11, 2006, 06:48 AM   #3  
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People can forgive But people dont forget.
You have alot of bad history between you.
Its a shame you a child involved as it would be easier for you two to get out of.
Honesty is the key to a relationship.

You are both holding back alot of stuff between you thats probably gonna explode quite soon.
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Old Jul 11, 2006, 06:57 AM   #4  
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My old saying rings true once again..............Once a cheater, always a cheater.

These people have that cheating gene that some how THEY JUSTIFY IT'S OK TO CHEAT.

I feel sad for them because something isn't right in their make up. Too bad for them.

I think you need to work on yourself. Your 18 and already cheated 5 times on him?????????? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - that's awful.

PLUS - you have a kid????? with him.

What a mess.
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Old Jul 11, 2006, 07:10 AM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
I think you need to work on yourself. Your 18 and already cheated 5 times on him?????????? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - that's awful.

PLUS - you have a kid????? with him.

What a mess.

Have to spread some love round, you are so straight forward, no betting round the bush.. i love it
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Old Jul 11, 2006, 07:31 AM   #6  
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I asked for advice not your criticism. Dont post here if you have no advice or you feel you need to condem me. Wildcat do not post here again.
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Old Jul 11, 2006, 07:38 AM   #7  
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Never - because no one in their lives tell them the truth - friends tend to sugar coat things. I spare feelings here for a reason - they don't know me - I don't know them. They need to hear reality - because what's going on in their heads is not reality.
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Old Jul 11, 2006, 07:55 AM   #8  
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Wildcat its ok to tell the truth but you didnt come on this post to tell the truth you came here to tell me how you feel. I asked a question and you werent able to answer. Like i said if you came here to criticize DONT. If you feel you cant do what i asked then at least respect my dicision to not hear from you again and dont read any of my post again. Honesty can be your gift but also your curse. THIS SITE IS NOT FOR CRITICISM IT IS FOR ADVICE IF YOU CANT FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT THEN YOU SHOULDNT POST!
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Old Jul 11, 2006, 08:09 AM   #9  
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You deserve critiscism. Your life is a mess. Work on yourself.

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Cassie agrees: Goodness, you certainly made me chuckle
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Old Jul 11, 2006, 09:20 AM   #10  
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Crybaby, you're offended because you don't want to hear the truth about your behavior. You have to recognize and accept that it was your choice of actions that led you into this big mess. You are responsible.

You don't trust your boyfriend because you don't trust yourself. It was so easy for you to cheat, you believe that he will too as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

You may well believe you are a "changed woman" today. The problem is that tomorrow, when things are tough again, you're most likely to revert back to the behaviour you already know. You rationalized your cheating more than 5 times already, what's another time or two when it's really tough...?

I don't believe you can every be happy with this guy. I think you don't have any respect for your boyfriend. If he actually forgives you - I'd bet you'd respect him even less. And if he has any self-resepct, he'll drop you like a hot potatoe anyways.

Even if you somehow work things out, you'll always have that little nagging feeling of mistrust between you - and inside yourself.

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talaniman agrees: DEAD ON !!!!
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