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I have a teenage daughter (who is black) that wants to date a teenage boy (who is Korean). I am having a great deal of trouble with this concept, I don't care about my daughter dating outside her race but, Koreans are such intolerant people I feel he will hurt her emotionally. They are both very good students and they both attend church. I would like to tell my child to look for another type of boy to date. The current problem is that they were out shopping at the local mall and he saw a member of his church and hide from the church member pretending he was not with my daughrter. My daughter has asked him for an explanation for his strange behavior and all he said is that he cannot talk about it. The emotions and self-esteem of a young black girl living in American is a very fragile thing and I cannot have this guy destroy it with his racial short slightness, ignorance, and confusion. How do I tell my daughter to leave him alone and all Koreans and find another boyfriend
Unfortunately, telling your daughter to leave him (and all Koreans) alone is the last thing you should do. You see, being a teenager, regardless of ethnicity, means doing exactly the opposite of what your parents tell you. This situation is sadly out of your hands and you have to wait until your daughter realizes for herself the situation that she is in. What you could do in the meantime, is pray with her and encourage her to be her own person who is not ashamed of who or what she is Continue to teach her the highs and lows of being a woman, to focus on her ambitions, reaching for the stars and the whole nine. By this point even if the guy does play up, she'll be so focused on being herself that she'll just dust it off and continue with her life.
Teaching a child hate, or intolerance is child abuse. If she is old enough to date, then tell her the truth. If she cannot be loved and respected in public then she should talk to this guy about respecting her and not being ashamed. No way should she indulge in keeping what they are doing secret. That means you mom, must change your thinking also because she will smell the intolerance on you with every word you say against her friend. Much better to teach her that all men must respect her not just the ones you are comfortable with. Wouldn't be a bad idea to get to know him and talk to him of his behavior, so he will understand hiding this relationship, is disrespectful. Is the father in the picture??
Neither child has a father in their life. I am not teaching my child intolerance or to hate people base on their race. The only people who understand what I am talking about is of course another Black person.
What do you mean Koreans are intolerant people?? Do you know all of them? How could you make such an accusation of an entire race? It wouldn't be right if someone made such a statement about you or your race. I think your daughter cares about someone who seems to have the same interests as her. She doesn't see his color or background, she sees who he really is. If they both go to church and spend time doing positive things, who cares what other people think?? This is something for her to work through and decide where its going. If you try and deter her from being with him, you make it seem so taboo, that makes it that much more enticing for someone so young. Trust her instincts, and what you have instilled in her in terms of morals and values. She is growing up and becoming her own person. Try and respect that!! The most important thing you can teach her is to be compassionate and loving of all people, isn't that what Jesus wanted to us to learn?? What is the point of going to church if you leave thinking in such negative, prejudiced thinking that alienates people from each other. Just think about it, and ask God to help you accept everyone and see all of us as connected in spirit.
you totαlly just sold yourself out lαdy you sαy your not rαcist yet you hαve some sort of prejudice with Koreαns αnd wαnt to tell your dαughter to leαve αll Koreαns.. (thαts like sαying αll blαcks guys αre cheαters, αnd spαnish men αre women beαters..etc)
αnother thing: if she's just α teen most likely this relαtionship won't lαst, it's not like she's hαving α bαby with him or getting mαrried.. teen relαtionships come αnd go especiαlly if he's αcting shαdy she'll eventuαlly get α clue on her own (you telling her won't mαke α difference if αnything she'll hold on to him tighter-thαt is the truth! i did thαt to my mother, my friends did it to thiers---αll girls who's pαrents don't αpprove of thier boyfriends usuαlly hold on to thier guys longer)
Spoken like a true teenager!!! Out of the mouths of babes, we get the honest to goodness truth. It isn't easy being a mom, but just remember you were that young once too. Did you agree with everything your mom told you? Did you do everything you were told? Did your emotions for another guy have anything to do with your parents, I know they didn't for me.
How would you feel if your daughter was dating a white boy, but the boy's mom did not like the partnership because "all black girls are easy." Now we all know that statement is not true, it is a gross generalization. Isn't that what you are doing, generalizing this boy because of his race? Why not get to know him, he could surprise you and not be any of the things that you think he is.
Neither child has a father in their life. I am not teaching my child intolerance or to hate people base on their race. The only people who understand what I am talking about is of course another Black person.
Thats so untrue as good people come in all colors, and all mothers and fathers can only do the best they can, so if your daughter can look beyond the physical so can you. Its your job to be honest and truthful and give love, not hate, the world will teach them that.
It is so very important that you teach your daughter to respect herself and see thru to what people are, not how they look, easier said than done, but so essential since there is no male figure to give her self esteem thru a fathers' love. I understand that makes it more difficult, but you have to teach your children better than what you've learned, especially about the opposite sex.
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