He looked me in the eye at some stages, but kept looking sideways when he was gesturing sideways. He looked me in the eye this morning when he was asking me to stop crying.

This is really difficult

As Wildcat said "BINGO" he can't look you in the eye. Trait of a liar! He is trying to keep you hanging by a thread. He wants his cake and eat it too. He knows you have always been there even through his infidelities. He wants you to be there when he has nothing better to do or go to.

You need to quit questioning yourself. You saw what you saw. Get strong. Quit letting him walk on you. Quit letting him influence you. Need I go on.....or better yet....need we all go on....

No, you or anyone else doesn't have to go on, I'm sorry if I am annoying you!
Thanks for your words, but its so hard to just get strong!

No you are not annoying anyone, we just hate to see someone getting hurt. I have been in your shoes, and you need to get strong and it is VERY hard! I am divorced from a hibitual liar, and once you break from them, and heal, you can't even believe you delt with it as long as you did. You will be much more happy and content with you life once you make the break.

If you go home for a while, you WILL cry, hurt, hate, feel empty, feel hopeless and helpless, you will want to go back and make it all better and put up with his lies, but you WILL be back to square one in the future. Then you will be going through all of these feeling again. Why not start now, get though all of the grieving, and be done with it. As hard as it may sound and as hard as it WILL be. It will be hard, but will be worth it in the long run.

You love him, there is not doubt about that, but you deserve better and WILL get better if you want it.

Take Care

It's hard to decide if some one is lying or not. I just see a lot of red flags.

You're not annoying us - we come here to learn and help.

Oh- thank you very much. Perhaps I misread your message. You are right, but I also have a lot to consider, so I have decided to go home for 3 weeks for now. I can't just walk away that easy, we also have a business together. I know that I saw these things, but he is doing a great job of telling me that he didn't. I also wander what else he has done!

We are supposed to be going away this weekend till next Tuesday. He will be home from work soon and I want to talk about it all tonight again and see what comes out if it.Nothing is going to change my mind though.

How did you find your strength?

That is a very good question? I feel my strength came through my 3-month old son (at the time), prayer, and my mom. I am a spiritual person, but could be A LOT more! I just asked for strength. My son, I suppose, got me through most of it. I would look at and hold him, and think that I didn't want him to be brought up in a household of lies & secrets. I couldn't believe a word my ex said. He lied about lies. That is no way to live.

I went home (like you) and stayed for 3 weeks (like you) waiting to see if my ex was going to want me back. He never called. I called him and waited..... He didn't even ask to see his son. So I figured that if we don't mean anymore that this to him, I needed to go.

I left a job of 13 years, a new house we had just built, and a life that I had known for so long. I moved to the town my mom lived in, rented an apartment, went and got my things, found a job at $6.00 less an hour that what I was making, and survived just fine.

My son had an illness at the time, (that he has grown out of now) but his formula cost 1150.00 monthly. So not only was I going through a divorce and raising a 3-month old, and trying to get help with the formula, but trying to stay sain.

Your strength comes from within...I feel a person has to reach a point (bottom-for a lack of a better word) that they just can't take it any more and want more in their life.

Maybe you are there, maybe you're not. It's up to you. If you are not at that point yet, you will go back until you cannot take it another day. And either he will change and you will want to stay or you will finally decide to leave for good.

You will find your strength someday-whether it be through prayer, family, friends, or YOU.

I hope you find it soon - for YOUR happiness and innerpeace.

GREAT POST BIM! Love it! So true! Lifes battles!

Thank You! Comes from the heart. Nine years ago--seems like yesterday. But still sort of cleansing to talk about -- lets other people know they're not alone out there.

Dotn let his lies manipulate you anymore. What you saw happened. Don't look for excuses to make him right. Don't second guess yourself.
He is a liar. That's all there is to it. He is worried that he has lost you. He knows he is guilty. If he wasn't guilty he wouldn't be so worried.
He will try and manipulate you and lie some more to get you back to him. Take your time. Walk away. Stay away. Don't let him push you and force you to do anything. You are doing the right thing!