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Hi. The guy i've been dating for the last 5-6 months is less than a year out of 30 year marriage. When i met him he told me he was already divorced, which was a lie, and has been separted for over a year, which was another lie.
a few months ago he told me the truth. come to find out, he has told me other lies to keep me hanging around.
basically to have his cake and eat it too, so to speak.
he said from the beginning he wasn't ready to be my boyfriend, but proceeded to pursue me heavily and keep me dangling on a string.
this weekend his away at this dance festival he had originally invited me to, but then he said he wanted to "try alone." he actually lied about that as well at first telling me it was sold out, so i couldn't buy a ticket. i found out that was a lie and confronted him with the info. he finally admitted after some questioning that he wants to date other women, but "isn't looking for another lover." another lie, i assume. he was all flustured when he told me he wanted to go alone, saying he'd like to spend a weekend away with me sometime, he'll see me soon, etc.
clearly another ploy to keep me waiting around for him, while he's off doing whatever he wants to do, with whoever he wants to do it with.
I can objectively understand him not wanting to be in a relationship at this time, but lieing to me is so hurtful as is keeping me at bay for his convenience.
it's hard to think he really gives a at this point.
a few days ago i emailed him and said i was really depressed and needed some space. he emailed me back that day and left a voice message, both of which i didn't respond to.
i haven't heard from him since (3 days) and he didn't call to say goodbye before he left for the dance festival.
i don't want to talk to him or see him anymore.
do you think he'll care much when i don't respond to any of his messages. i'm sure he thinks i'll be right there waiting for him when he gets back. do you think he'll miss me when i'm gone?
more importantly, should i email him saying never to contact me again, or just wait for him to get back from this weekend and never respond to his messages?
Sadly we always want to do the opposite of what's best for us. Don't bother to email him, no contact (simply says it all) dont waste your time in assuming he cares either, its tempting to email/call but just think how great you'll feel a year from now if you can look back and not feel embarrassed, defeated or pathetic, because by then it will only be a distant memory.
Forget him he is bad news. He has lied to you all along, and that is a red flag. Don't waste another minute thinking of this man, he is using you. Maybe you can see now why his wife probably left after 30 yrs, she got smart. Good luck, you deserve better.
I haven't been on the board for a while but I'll see what I can do to help.
When you're in a relationship, all you can go by is your perception, reality tends to fade away when you meet somebody that you really like. Also, you can't base your actions on what is reality when you're "blinded" by infatuation (Notice I do not use the word love)
I think the problem here is that since he was in a 30 year relationship, and he's just getting out. He's trying to play the field, I don't know how old this guy is but every now and then you gotta just let loose. I'm 20 and personally enjoy long relationships (going on 2.5 years now...yes that's long for a 20 year old haha) and even I think that this chump is not worth it.
Maybe he'll care that you're ignoring him, but not because he necessarily cares about YOU, I think he cares that someone else was interested in him and that he can control the situation. If you let this fool play you like that, you have nobody to blame but yourself in the end.
Basically, ignore the dirtbag, if he gets persistent on talking to you, just let him know that you've moved on and that you hope things turn out in the best for him.
(Just because he's a jerk doesn't mean that you can't make a humble and more mature exit)
Ignore him, he'll get the message.He told you from the beginning he didn't want a serious relationship and he has also lied to you from the start. He does not care.
Leave him alone. If he decides to call you, tell him you have moved on and good bye.
kevin: so you don't think he'll miss me? he's not attached, etc.? he's 50 years old. he never really dated before he got married.
he actually thinks strippers are his friends because they pay attention to him and hug him when he comes into the bar. doesn't it occur to him that they wouldn't give him the time of day if he wasn't paying them?
if he's that desperate for female attention, don't you think he'd try to hold onto me?
do you think he'll regret throwing our relationship away?
also, do you think he's not worried now cuz he thinks i'll be waiting for him when he returns on sunday?
how important am i to him? i don't get it, really.
please explain more.
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