Need to talk about a bad relationship

beth911 · Dec 15, 2007, 02:53 PM

I need alot of help with everything thats goin on. Theirs alot and its so long of a story that i dont even know where to begin. We have been together for almost 2 years. I wont say the whole story because its way too long but i will tell you bits and peices. Right now, he thinks i want his friend and i dont. so hes kida ignoring me. I only can talk to him at school and thats it. He wrote a note saying that he feels bad about leaving me but he doesnt wanna be hurt anymore. Their is nothing that anyone can say or do to get me to change my mind.... i already know that no matter what and even if i want to i will not give up on trying to keep us together. Even if I Want to give up on it i wont. I just need some help on trying to get him to understand that i really do love him and i dont want anyone else and i dont want him to be hurt but i wanna stay with him forever. I want him to know that I want things between us to be better than they ever were before and us to try to have fun together and get along better and not be misserable together because we both do love each other and we both dont like hurting each other and going throgh this but some how this is how it is............ i tried writing all this to him in a note but he said that one of his friends took it from him and that he never got it back. I told him to try to call me if he can and he said he would but he never did, then again he really isnt aloud to so maybe thats why..... I tried giving him another note and he said "i'l just lose it" so i ended up keeping it and he never read it. I told him to call me then and that was yesterday. So far he hasnt called. he said he would try though. And when i try to talk to him, he acts like he doesnt know me. I think that since he hasnt read that note he may still think that i want his friend and not him so he may be confused as to why i am talking to him. The day before yesterday, i told him in person that i want him and everything, then we kinda talked for like 10 seconds but then later i went back up to him and he just seemed mad again. This was right before we got out of school that day and then he just kinda walked away from me. The only time he talks to me is when i go up to him and he doesnt really say anything. But he sits next to me in 2 classes and in the 2nd one that we have together, he kept looking at me like he was trying to get my attention and then i kinda looked at him and then looked away and he just said "dont look at me like that"
But i dont know what to do.,. I mean from what i said, do you think if i wait, he will seee im not even talking to his friend and start to come back to me? Should i keep trying to talk or wait a little while before i say more to him? whats the best way to get him to come to me?
And he thinks i want his friend because of something that happened a few weeks ago.... He said he was talking to anoither girl and was going to leave me for her so i lied and said i wanted his friend and then he said he was just joking about her then he said it wasnt a lie and i dont know what to believe their becuase he makes things up sometimes to try to make me mad or see what i would do . but then i noticed him ignoring me so i told him that if he didnt want me to give to his friend because i was mad about eveything he told me about that other girl and when all thart was going on he said he didnt want me anymore so he was going to give to his friend. That all made me mad when i was only thinking about it so i said that to him but only becayse of everything he said to me.

I may have givin u somewhat the wrong idea or not enough info on this because its such along story but i tried to make it short.
but basiccaly i wanna know how i can get him to talk to me

beth911 · Feb 15, 2008, 10:22 PM

J and I got in a big arguement yesterday. and I was finally ready to move on and forget about him. I finally got the strength to do it. I told him i didnt even wanna talk to him because we would just end up getting back together and i dont want that to happen. he said the same thing but some how this time, he got us to continue to talk to each other. but im not so sure i wanna get back into this. but i cant leave him while we are still talking. i'm only ok with leaving him when hes treating me like that

beth911 · Apr 10, 2008, 09:38 PM

Wondergirl, if you get this... i couldnt send to your inbox...
he syas its for some tests or something. but for a while, when everything was going good.. he kept saying that he loves me... Now its like before, he wont even say it back. and if he did say it he would say it like he dont mean it. and when i talk to him all he says is "oh" and "i see" then he says hes just short on words. But everythings like it was and i cant stand it.

Wondergirl · Apr 10, 2008, 09:42 PM

I cleaned out my mailbox. Just live your life. Remember when you mostly ignored him? He came around. Do that again.

beth911 · Apr 10, 2008, 10:25 PM

i'll try. what if that doesnt work?

Wondergirl · Apr 11, 2008, 04:56 PM

Don't "try" -- DO IT!!!

It will work.

beth911 · Apr 11, 2008, 11:45 PM

i'm worried about him leaving. HE SAYS hes leaving this summer. but he always makes these things up but something tells me he might not be making it up.

beth911 · Apr 11, 2008, 11:52 PM

and he said "why would i want to stay? i cant get a job without a car, and i cant get a car without a job"
and he says its his only choice. then he said "i have to fight just to eat, let alone worry about a car"

beth911 · Apr 12, 2008, 01:55 PM

And now my biggest problems are that people keep telling me that if he goes in the army hes going to forget about me and find another girl while hes there.
People think hes cheating on me. and all this stuff.
And he's a sociopath so idk how to put up with that.
Wondergirl, ive told you the most about this. And your the only person that hasnt given up on me. Thanks. What do you think? do you think he would do that?

Wondergirl · Apr 12, 2008, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beth911

And now my biggest problems are that people keep telling me that if he goes in the army hes going to forget about me and find another girl while hes there.
People think hes cheating on me. and all this stuff.
And he's a sociopath so idk how to put up with that.
Wondergirl, ive told you the most about this. And your the only person that hasnt given up on me. Thanks. What do you think? do you think he would do that?

Where would he find another girl while he's in the Army? He'll be with guys, not girls.

Ok. What would your plan be for him after he graduates? Do you have a better idea than the Army?

beth911 · Apr 12, 2008, 02:22 PM

My brother found a girlfriend when he was in the marines. and someone else said that their friend went in the army and forgot all about his gf and met another gf while he was there



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