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I'll keep this one quick, just looking for a bit if insight...
Without getting into specifics:
-Girlfriend wants space, trying to handle personal problems.
-Doesn't want to "break up", afraid of losing me forever
-She is trying to feel things out without me, her personal problems being she is TOO dependent which leads to obsession, anger, treating me poorly
-The "space" apart is meant to (hopefully) allow her to not take me for granted and appreciate the time we get more = less stupid arguing about nothing
Heres the problem, she gets lonely too quick (due to the constant communication we had, both our problems, I admit). She will be terribly upset after one day, and call me. I told her about it and said by doing that she won't be able to experience what she wants, life without me being her support.
As the relationship isn't necessarily over (yet i guess), how do I handle if she calls? (right now the cells dead and im not rushing to charge it ) Do I let it go and then call after time has passed? I don't want to answer, but sometimes its hard to watch the phone ring when you know someone you care about so much is so upset.
Amazing how small incidents we should just pass over, have us thinking way to deeply, and can be mood changers or let downs. It will pass, don't worry. I think its a good gage where your at in your healing though. Even happy healthy people have bad days. Its just the outlook and attitude that is different.
I am feeling a lot of the same ways you are. I get the left behind feeling, have had the same type of dreams you are having. I want to call her and just see what she is doing, but she could probbalby care less about what I am doing.
Spent all day at my buddy's house for the BBQ. It was a good time. As the day wore on, the party kinda dwindled and two of my friends and I went to this girls house to watch a movie and hang out. Was out much later then I have been in a while. Nothing happened with the girls but its just nice to get out and meet new people. seems like the more you do it, the easier it gets. This summer is looking up for me - can't wait to keep meeting new people.
I have been thinking of her less and less and the times I spend thinking about her are more of reflections on what happened and not so much missing her or being sad. I'm starting to really feel like I'm moving forward. Today will be the third day in a row that I'm going out and doing things with friends that I wasn't so close to before. Hopefully I'll be a little closer with them as they are usually going out and meeting people - a crowd I would like to be involved with.
And Tal, the last few days have been great for meeting people. Today at the orientation for my job I felt great. I walked in and started conversations and it is amazing how much of a weight that can lift off your shoulders. I was nervous walking in, then once I sat down and introduced myself to a few people, people started talking to me. It's great. Makes me wonder why I ever had a fear of being snubbed by someone for saying hi. Now I might still be a little nervous meeting women, but progress is progress -- itll only get better.
Just an update to my situation so I can keep my thoughts together. Its been over a week since I've posted anything on here. There really isn't much to say. I'm still making progress day by day, sometimes it slower than others. I don't think I spent one night home last week, constantly going out playing some sort of sport or going to dinner with my friends.
I still think I have a problem with putting too much pressure on myself to meet more women. I have met a few that I didn't know before, but I haven't really talked to any of them since we met. As long as I'm meeting new people and have stuff to do I don't mind...
I think the reason I put pressure on myself is I want to see that I can catch the attention of another female, just to see if I 'still have it' so to say (funny because I started dating my g/f when I was 16, so I never really 'had' anything )
i have the same thoughts now and again BB. ive just told myself to not put pressure on myself to find someone else. seems the majority of my mates are in relationships but thats how the cycle is working at the moment. im quite happy on my own, getting my stuff together mentally and physically. go to a jive class on a tuesday, which is great fun, but not too many younger girls there. then i tell myself to not let my mood be dictated by the possibility of meeting someone, just smile have a good time and good things will happen in time.
don't fret about meeting someone else. i guess most of the girls i see/meet don't really do anything for me at the moment. sure in time ill get my interest levels back up.
its a long road, but staying busy is the key, keep doing it.
I think I know the answer I'm going to get to this, but I'll ask it anyway.
If you remember, a month or so ago there was an email about a bill that got billed to my ex's CC and I asked her what I should do about paying for it. She told me that its not really a big deal, but I could pay her when I got paid for work during the summer if I wanted to. She said "You can let me know and we can meet somewhere, or you can mail it to me."
Well, meeting up is out of the question. I don't want to feel like a jerk for making her foot the bill though. I don't mind mailing her a check, but I'm worried it might be the impetus she needs to start communication -- and I DONT want that. I have no idea how she is feeling: sad, happy, angry, lonely...who knows? But in any case, I don't want to give her a reason, or excuse, to contact me ("Hey I got your check, just letting you know.").
I'd say that sending a cheque would be ok. She has no reason to start contact from that, and even if she says ' i got the cheque thanks' thats it. no need for you start replying etc, especially if you don't want too.
Treat as just a cheque, and then continue NC and doing great, which it seems you are.
) Do I let it go and then call after time has passed? I don't want to answer, but sometimes its hard to watch the phone ring when you know someone you care about so much is so upset.
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