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I am a bisexual female, and I have many problems but one of the most frequent and hurtful problems is that I am always getting taken advantage of by guys. I like talking, I like experimenting, I like being different and actually listening to what they have to say, and so far that hasn't worked for me. Even if I go into a relationship looking for friendship, it turns into something more, and gets twisted around through phone conversations and talking and being a little to open to talking about anything. So they seem to think that since I'm so open they can just go ahead and screw me and then just leave me alone never to be heard from again. I'm getting so sick of guys, I'm thinking about just strictly dating women, is that biased, or messed up? Is there something I missing? What could I possibly do to not be taken advantage of?
So are you telling me that you've never been taken advantage of by a woman? I'd find that hard to believe.
But I prolly bet that you are setting these things up with your premise that 'I like to be different, I like to experiment...' and so on.
Liar, liar, pants on fire! You are giving yourself permission to be pretty fast in your relationships as you are 'different and love to experiment' but then you want the other side of if of wanting to have more of a traditional relationship scenario.
Be kind to self and give self permission to have whatever relationship you are inclined to try w/o blaming the other person for the outcome. Take responsibility for your own part in the relationship as you do control whom you let close and in.
I think that putting all the blame on the guys is not fair, because you are at least partly to blame also. Stop giving so much so fast, and expecting more than just a casual relationship.
I think if you need a break from guys it's fine to only date women for a while. I have a lot of bi friends who do this from time to time. It's funny but it's when they have quit on one gender, start playing hard to get the nice ones appear. I think guy especially like the chase.
Personally I don't think that speaking openly should mean that you are targetted for being used. I think it is the same mentalitiy (although not as serious) as the women in a short skirt and crop top who was 'asking for it.' Although you have to realise if you are giving leading 'signals' and consider attenuating them. Sad but true that one. Sometimes there is the way things should be and the way they actually are.
Anyway I don't think you are messed up for considering dating women only for a while, and there is no harm in it.
To add to what the others have said, people take advantage of you because you let them. If you want to stop being taken advantage of, then don't be so quick to hop into the sack with every Tom, and Harry. You can talk and be friendly with people but cool it when it comes to getting all hot and heavy. Otherwise things'll never change.
May I ask a few questions first?
Some may be easier than others - it's up to you:
1. What is your relationship with your father?
2. And your mother?
3. How old are you?
4. How far in school have you gone?
5. Have you ever been abused?
6. What is your favorite book? Movie?
7. What is your job?
8. What is your favorite thing to do?
9. What does your best friend do?
10. Are you happy when single?
There are a lot of people out there (males and females) that will take advantage of someone if that someone is too open.
Opening yourself up completely to people you hardly know makes you vulnerable.
Even if you don't realize it at the time, the outcome of being taken advantage of is proof enough.
Protect yourself by not being so open to answer personal questions asked to you.
Just a couple thoughts to keep in mind:
1) I noticed when I was younger and guys I barely knew would ask me personal "sexual" questions, it was just to see if I was "easy" or not.
They were not interested in me, they were only interested in what they could get from me.
They are not the type of guys you want to try to have a relationship with because they are still little horn dogs only looking for one thing.
2) Some guys are really turned on by bisexual girls - probably a good idea to keep that to yourself when meeting new guys. This way they don't immediately get any sexual fantasies over you in that aspect.
You don't need to give up on Men you just need to learn to find real Men not Boys. Give them some time so you get to know them before you open up about yourself. Talking about sex and flirting is fun and can be exciting but it doesn't mean you have to go all the way.
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