I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now and shes simply wonderful. We are really close to each other and we love each other to bits. However there are certain things in my past that did make me alittle crap emotionally and well made our relationship pretty bad...

Well her parents are my godparents so naturally i'm extremely close to her parents. I even stay over at her place really often at one point of time. However being traumatised when I was really young I don't really know how to express myself unless I know that person really well... Well theres no problem communicating to my girlfriend at all unless we had an arguement.

She gets pretty unreasonable sometimes during an arguement for example falling asleep at 2am and when she calls me on my cell after studying she cant get me... She gets angry for that for a day or two until she is alright...

Well one day we had a bad quarel and I contemplated suicide which I did do in the end. Well thank god I did survive as I had jumped off a building... I still walk and I'm still able to run so I'm so happy to be alive to tell my story.

She realised that she love me so much but of course this has caused her to be scared and freaked out but her parents showed me continued support and I soon got well... However whenever we have problems or arguements i always threaten to kill myself at the spur of the moment when in fact i only wanted her attention. I had a traumatising past so I hope none of you are killing me for that... =O)

So there came a point where I acknowledged the fact that I needed help but I never got down to doing anything. Soon after that a few weeks later I threatened to kill myself over a trivial matter and she decided to break up with me.

I know I was totally wrong and she hinted that she still wanted to be with but only if I got well, I know she is totally confused right now and doesn't know if she should get back to me even if I do get better... However her parents and mine have been pressurizing her and shes pretty stressed out. I havent contacted her for a week now and I'm going through counselling sessions and I'm getting alot better but I wanna get back with her and I don't know how.

My dad talked to her dad and arranged a meeting for me and her to meet up next week. I don't know what to say... I really want her back but I don't have a single clue what to say...

I just know that I love her, I wanna get well, I wanna marry her and I will never give up trying no matter how painful it gets... Anyone have any idea?

GrIMEvIL

I'm scared that she won't accept that... Anyway how do you thing I should tell her that? I mean through text or a phone call? My god this is mind boggling...

talaniman

Set her free, your not healthy at this time.

GrIMEvIL

Omg she just put her facebook relationship status as Single... From "its complicated to single.." My god i'm frantic!

justcurious55

it doesn't sound like you should be dating right now anyways. there's no way you coud have worked through all of your issues so quickly and you need to deal with those before you're dating her again.
and if she's decided your issues are more than she can deal with and its time for her to be single and move on, who helped get her to that point?

GrIMEvIL

I have no friggin idea.. But i'm pretty decided that I should go find her so I could talk to her face to face now.. Waiting is just such a dumb idea...

Anyone got anything to say to a naive guy like me?

Ok theres an update.. I talked to the councellor, and she has arranged for her to talk to Vanessa and family then talk to me and then after that talk to me and vanessa together... She'll be asking us what we want and so on and so forth... I'll be given some time to talk to vanessa and i'll be trying to win her back.. if we do get together, the counsellor will be advising us on what to do and the such of course i won't stop having sessions with her.. so its a win win situation... Can anyone please tell me what I should say to her when I see her next week???????

talaniman

I really think that you should show the counselor your blog and this thread, so they may know all the facts to help you thru this. You are not healthy enough for a relationship, and need to focus on getting healthy. I think trying to keep a g/f under these circumstances is a very bad idea for her own mental health. I know you don't want to face that, but its not fair to her, and she wants out, and you should let her go!!!! Now is the time to work on you. Don't be selfish!

Altenweg

Tal, I had to spread the rep.

I agree, it's time to work on yourself. You've told her time and time again that you have changed and time and time again have proven otherwise. Fix your problems first. Get healthy and then you can concentrate on a relationship. If she moves on then so be it, there are other fish in the sea, but you shouldn't even have your fishing rod in the water right now. Get better first.

GrIMEvIL

My Counsellor knows all the facts that I've told you guys and even more.. I never hid anything from her... She feels that my gf and I still love each other so by being able to talk to both of us and decide from there is one more thing... Me wanting to try and get back together with her is something I really want, because breaking up doesn't solve anything... So can someone please really really advice me on what to say to her when I see her?

talaniman

According to you the counselor hasn't seen you or anyone yet.

This is what you wrote this morning. Whats up dude??

justcurious55

you just don't get it, do you? you're asking for advice, everyone is telling you the same thing: you're not ready for a relationship. if your counselor really thinks you are and is even willing to help you push your ex-gf into therapy with you to drag her back into the relationship maybe you need a new counselor. because this one sounds like a real push-over. that's how my mom's counselor was and guess what, my mom's issues have only gotten worse because having a counslor who tells you what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear doesn't help you in the long run. idk that it even does in the short run.