Suffering Again.am I really this ignorant?

DMBacoustic · Jan 3, 2008, 07:06 AM

We all go through the same thing where you can be fine with the thought of breakup up and like you said, BAM. You need to focus on the fact however that you don't want to be with him for a reason. He wasn't good to you he doesn't deserve you. Try putting yourself first and you'll realize you don't deserve that from anybody and the entire situation will be much easier to deal with. You may think the feeling is going to last forever but, ahem here come the cliches, its a marathon not a race. And although now he could be with someone else you'll figure out what you deserve and what you don't.

Jay_Tee · Jan 3, 2008, 07:09 AM

I think it's because it's love.
And yeah, you've said it too, that the relationship was never really good or happy for you then why continue it? I'm sure if you let fate take its role you will find someone much better than your ex, who can treat a girl right.
Just look on the bright side; you're young and single! So just go out there and club the night away!

HurtingALot · Jan 3, 2008, 07:10 AM

DM...thanks for your reply. It really is helpful. I just hate the thought of the heartbreak....it is truly awful.

And you are right, he probably doesn't deserve me...never really did. I just thought maybe it was getting better, and maybe he really was really realizing that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, as he said. But then this.....unbelievable.

AND...if he is with someone else, it shouldn't really matter, right? Because if he was a user jerk to me, he will be to her and the next one and the next one, right?

ANY OTHER THOUGHTS? ALL REPLIES ARE SO WELCOME!

DMBacoustic · Jan 3, 2008, 07:13 AM

I went through the same situation after I graduated college in may. My ex started acting really distant and didn't care anymore, she figured I'd just always be around. And I kept telling myself it would get better but it never did. And if what he's doing texting that other girl seems wrong and your gut tells you that then you have to trust yourself. Like I said, in the end when you put yourself first everything else will fall into place.

HurtingALot · Jan 3, 2008, 07:19 AM

My gut definitely tells me that it is not right. It's just amazing how things were going so great for us...and then this. It is just so hurtful. And then for him to beg for me to not leave him? Keep begging buddy..(Although after that one unanswered call...nothing more from him as of yet.) We had a couple's spa weekend planned with reservations and all....and when I dropped him off New Year's Day, he asked like he was just dumbfounded "So we're not going?" WHAT? Are you kidding me? What the hell is wrong with him?

When will I just feel ok with this....I know in my head it is probably best to just really be done....but my heart hurts. It didn't have to be like this. What an idiot. He lost so much in me....I just hope he knows it one day, even if it's just not yet.

mafiaangel180 · Jan 3, 2008, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HurtingALot

My gut definitely tells me that it is not right.

Yep, go with the gut.

You must not have trusted him too much to go through his phone...and then you found that he was secretly talking to some girl, whom he even met. A lie by omission is still a lie. So you caught him lying. So what makes you think he isn't lying when he says he will cut all contact with her? Flat out, this guy doesn't deserve your trust and doesn't deserve you.

HurtingALot · Jan 3, 2008, 07:43 AM

Thank you to those have replied so far....KEEP IT COMING PLEASE!

I swear I am ok UNTIL the thoughts of him with someone (anyone) else come in...and then I start re-playing those text messages in my head and I am crazed again. Wish I could just get rid of the thoughts altogether. Bottom line, LET HIM be with someone else....she'll never be me, no matter who she is....(and he couldn't possibly be all that into her if he was begging me not to leave him, right?) Let him figure out through being with someone who is not me that he really did lose the best thing that ever happened to him, am I right here?

Maybe it really was harmless flirting as he said, and nothing will ever come of it....but that doesn't change the fact that he's an idiot for jeopardizing what we had and losing me. Yes?

ISneezeFunny · Jan 3, 2008, 08:10 AM

What I want to ask is...when were the text msgs sent/received? Were they when you two were broken up, or was it after you two got back together?

If it's while you two were broken up, then really...what he was doing was ok...as long as he stopped all that mess as soon as you two got back together. If he continued it, then yes. Uh oh.

talaniman · Jan 3, 2008, 08:17 AM

His motives and actions are no longer important to you, they are just painful memories. Know that, and shift the focus to you, and what makes you happy, now. Don't sit and mope, we all have to deal with our own feelings, so it may be a while before you can let go, but its up to you to cope. Positive actions are what recommended to help move on, despite the pain. Click on the links in my signature, and get some ideas, and positive actions.

Suffering Again.am I really this ignorant?

Check out some similar questions!