HI

I met a girl 1 year back in drama shoot on the back stage. At that time i did'nt know that she was taking notice of me. right after 1 year i.e. July 06, she called me to just to say hello. I was surprised y did she call me after 1 year. Well from here the story begins. Then slowly slowly we started to have chat on phone. in start, she calls me too much, but i didnt. but after some time i also begin to giving her response. She told me that she broke with her Boy friend, because her BF does not care for him, and always ask her to date. she suppose to cry and i supported her, and tried hard to forgot that boy. any way she got involved in me, and me too after some time. we were sincere too each other, and also agreed to marry each other. in the end of september i came to UK from pakistan for my higher studies. She give me lots of instruction like not to get involve with ne girl, i should take care of myself, and should come back to home country as soon as possible.

when i came here, in starting it was fine, but after some times i usually asked to email me, but she didnt (because she didnt have time), i complained to her and in the end she said i am sorry, it will not happen again.
When ever i called her, she couldnt talk to me because her mom or dad is with her.

I have a feeling that she is not giving me response as she suppose to give me in pakistan. I asked her for marriage, she is agreed. I made a new email from the name of his old boy friend, and started talking to her. in starting she scolded his boyfriend(i.e.. me) very much but in the end she said "1st Love is always 1st" and she agreed that she still love me(i.e. his old boyfriend)

No when i got online with my real id, she told me each and every thing.

i am little bit confuse that what to do now. because i think i am too involved in her. she is taking me not seriously.
what should i do ?
is she serious ? if not then what was in the starting which made her call after 1 year.?
and yes her sister told me that she really mis me and love. my girl friend's age is just 17 years.

Help ?

valinors_sorrow

Forgive me if this is a disappointing answer but we can guess about the behavior of your girlfriend alot here. Maybe right, maybe not?

The only way to be certain is for you to ask her yourself in either an email or phone call. It is good to have clear communication in a relationship and it sounds like yours needs more work. I encourage you to talk to her.

nomi

thanks for your concern. but when ever i asked her, she said that no its not like that. and try to change the topic. if there is some thing problem than y she is stil agreed to marry, y she pick up the phone and talk to me for 10-15 min..but some time she acts like she has no feelings for me.

valinors_sorrow

You must express your concerns again to her, and in the words you just used in your last post too. If she changes the topic, change it back. If you think her behavior isn't trustworthy, tell her and state what behavior you would trust. She is either willing (or not) to be concerned and change or talk until you understand. Talking and negotiating and learning is an ongoing and sometimes difficult prospect.

nomi

Ok, today i'll ask her. and will tell u the response. Can you just help me to tell some questions to ask her from your point of view so that you can get a better idea..

valinors_sorrow

I'm sorry, I don't understand your request for my cooking up any questions. Its you that needs to ask her questions. I don't have any questions for either of you.

J_9

Okay, it is my belief that neither one of you are ready for a serious relationship, (if I read your post right). Did you actually create an ID and pretend that you were her ex boyfriend?

nomi

Yes, i did it, to guess the true picture, but i could'nt. some times she is very loving and caring , some time she is just like dont want me.
Is this because she is too young to understand..

valinors_sorrow

I concluded the same thing as J_9 but was feeling a little too weary of the possible rebuttal to point out to you that you are taking extremely desperate and dishonest measures to avoid talking, and that says everything to me.

J_9

Yes, you both are too young.

I am sorry, but I believe what you did was VERY wrong and manipulative.

You lied to her, do you understand that? You pretended you were someone you are not.

Your first post has the answer about how she feels about you. Apparently she is still in love with her first boyfriend.

You both are way too immature right now to get married. You need to work on yourself and learn that manipulation ruins a relationship. How would you feel if she did that to you?

I think YOU are too young to understand too. A mature person would not have pretended they were someone they are not.