Hi Everyone

Hope someone can give me some advice.

I split up with my ex 5 years ago. We were together for 3 years and lived together for 2 of them.

We used to run a business together and work ended up ruining our relationship. We spent al our time working and never made anytime for ourselves. The last 6 months together was spent arguing. It got so bad that i felt i had to leave. It was the worst mistake of my life.

I met someone else on the rebound. Which was good at first. Turns out she was only after my money. By the time i got to know her properly it was too late. 4 months after we met she told me she was pregnant (Told me she was using contraceptive injection, so i didn't use a condom). I felt obliged to stay with her, do the honorable thing. We were together until the baby was 1. I left her because i was so miserable. All the time i was with her i couldn't stop thinking about the fabulous woman i had left.

There have been a few other women since then.

But i still think about my ex all the time, even dream about her and the fabulous times we had together.

We haven't spoke since we split up, i have only bumped into her once in the past 5 years. That was about 6 months ago. She was in a local shopping precinct with her parents. She said hello and that was that.

I'm seriously thinking about contacting her and letting her know how i feel. I don't know how to go about it tho. Or even if it's a good idea. It's been so long.

PLEASE HELP

diya

Usually it's never the same once you've broken up but in your case it's been so long, i foresee no harm in contacting her once and say what you would like to say...atleast that would give you some kinda satisfaction. However be mentally prepared to hear that she had already moved on to another guy....don't let that hamper your spirits...u too move on if she says this..then don't hang in there beggin and stuff..that would be another mistake you'd make...hope that sounds awright...good luck

phil198125

Thanks Diya. How would you go about it tho? Don't know where she is living at the moment and haven't got her phone number. I could probably find her address on electoral roll but feel really awkward turning up on her doorstep after we haven't spoken for so long. Not sure what to say, hard to know where to begin.

emopunk7

Sounds like fun! Go for it! But be ready for good or bad results!

phil198125

Just found her address on electoral roll. Only round the corner from me. 2 mins in car. No phone number listed though On a plus note no one else registered as living there either Looks like she may be single. Still don't know whether to go through with it tho. Not got a clue what to say.

mckenzie134

You go around there and you say its been a long time but Id love to know how yourve beem.

Its been such a long toime you dont want any heavy stuff just some light conversation a new beginning. Dont waste another day wondering should I should I not.

Tonight is the night, yourve already wasted 5 years, everyday longer is another day gone. The sooner you find out what is going to happen the sooner you can either plan a life with her or opve on with your own life.

Dont wait do this now, the more you keep thinking the longer this will take.

Do it tonight, turn up ring the bell and say Hi, its been a lkong time.

Let us know how you go

Gem07

Oooh, this is so romantic! I love it! Since you don't know where this is going to go, give it your all. Show up with her favorite flowers. Give her a card or letter. Invite her to dinner on Saturday night to her favorite type of restaurant.

Personally, I don't think there's any reason to go into all the old stuff right at that moment. Showing up and wanting to see her again will let her know what's up. Of course, if she says no due to a boyfriend/fiance', you can express yourself. (Engagements can be broken!) If she's married, I'd say good-bye and chalk it up to experience. Remember that there are other fish in the sea.

Hmm, on second thought, maybe you shouldn't show up with flowers/cards/candy. It might be too overwhelming. Just ask her if she'd like to go out with you. If she says yes, then you can bombard her with gifts!

Please note that she'll be very cautious. You hurt her once, and you can hurt her again! That's what she'll be thinking.

Please let us know how this goes! I'm hoping for a happily ever after kind of ending!

phil198125

Hi Everyone

Thanks for all the great advice. Thought i'd give everyone an update.

I chickened out on going around to here house. After 5 years of NC i thought she might be a little spooked. She may even be with someone and i don't want to cause her any trouble.

Today i sent her a note. Nothing soppy. Just asked how she was doin and that i still thought about her alot. Said i'd love to know how she's doing and maybe we could go for lunch sometime. Said i look forward to hearing from her but understand if i don't. Left my mobile number at the bottom.

Really hope she calls but not got a clue what i'll say when she does.

I'll keep you updated. Fingers crossed.

dreamguy

Since you were the dumper I think it is your job to swallow your pride, track her down, and pound on her front door saying "I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving you. I'm sorry. I want you back. Please take me back." Yes beg her if you have to.

The rules are different for you since you were the one who did the dumping. Dumpers can beg but dumpees should not.

If you want her back then own up to your mistake and swallow your pride. My ex was the dumper and I'm sitting here assuming that if she really wants to reconcile she will come pounding on my front door.

I just don't get why you are hesitant and don't know what to say and how to approach her if you really want her back. We preach all the time on this board that if dumpers want to come back then neither hell nor highwater will stop them from tracking their dumpees down.

emopunk7

Go get her!