I had a long distant relationship of 3 years. We're in different countries. He always came to visit me every year when he had a chance. We talked, chatted with each other once or twice a day. Although we had some fights and stuff but it was ok since he knows i am too young and childish compared with him.

Last year he couldnt visit me so he asked me to visit him and his family to go to the next step of the relationship (since we talked so much about future and stuff), my mom didnt let me go so i didnt go. We had a huge fight, l called him names, we broke up. I found myself ty to call my darling names so i appolozy, i discussed with him about things, he said if i dont want to come to visit him and his family then there is NO WAY we can be together. I felt hurt and we really broke up. I didnt want to cause him pain (because i did it pretty much since i was so childish, sometimes i just get angry out of nothing at all).

I didnt contact him for months. Its about 8 months since we officially broke up. He still cares and loves and misses me as he said so. He sent me emails, ecards on every special occasion. BUt yet again he is still in half-way: not really getting back together, not normal friends. I asked him why, he said our situation is still really hard, we're still in different countries. I was fed up. I told him to meet someone else and forget me and i'm really glad to see him having new gf but he just said "i dont want anyone else, noone is as great as you".

Lately (2days ago), he sent me a huge parcel with full of presents, very meaningful, a ring, rocks that he took at the top of ROcky Mountain when he went to it... and many other things. But i dont know, i dont really feel eager to receive these. I dont know what to do, why everything is still in half-way, i hate it. Even though we just chat casually sometimes, but it still drops me hope but i hate waiting.

someone tell me what to do, should i ask him directly what is going on? Or just like this?

Wondergirl

Do you want him back? You said, "But I don't know. I don't really feel eager to receive these." Are those things an obligation, obliging you to continue the contact?

It sounds like he is doing more to maintain contact than you are. Are you really interested in him? Are you willing to dump him since you can't travel to meet his family? And why didn't your mom allow you to go to see him? How old are you? How old is he?

Clough

Good questions above that need to be answered!

lmnotok

Actually, i was not eager because i am not happy about the situation that we are in right now. I want to have such a man like him in my life, i just hate being apart.

I still have the feeling that we're gonna be together someday. My mom didnt allow me since she didnt want me to travel alone without family, she thinks that girls can't just go somewhere without parents. ANd obviously i am 21 now, he is 32.

lmnotok

today, he phoned me, we talked for more than 1 h, but damned, just casual talk, say how are you doing, how is your life and new news and stuff. How do i end this half-way situation???

bluerose

This is never going to work out. All you have done is put your life on hold. Forget him and move on. And it's time you distanced yourself from your parents to become more independent. At 21 you are not a child and should not act like one or be treated like one.

Mamao2

What country are you in?

(bluerose, you must keep in mind that her culture may be different than yours)

Jesushelper76

First - Long distance relationships rarely last too long unless one or both are able to actually be together in the same country together.

Second - He made an effort to visit you most of the time and the one time he could not and asked you to meet and visit his family you could not? That is hurtful and shows that your not putting as much effort in this relationship then he is.

Third - He is trying to soften you up with gifts and other things because he feels your important, but your not to sure. Honestly I am surprised this long distance thing lasted as long as it did. You need to figure out what makes you happy. This situation you both knew you would be in because it is long distance, so why the surprise.

Remember though we can not tell you what to do, this needs to be your own decision.

Joe

Fourth - Either make a decision to make an effort to see him or just end it. You both need to work on a relationship especially it being long distance. Your not showing much interest so I think it is better that you two actually make it a point to see each other or just put it out of its misery.

talaniman

I don't go for long distance relationships, because they bring more problems to an already fragile situation, and 21 is a time to make choices for yourself, but the biggest red flag is if he is to busy to come and court you he will always be to busy to make you happy, just my opinion. Gifts are great and easy to buy with money, but knowing some one, and loving them for life takes time, and a lot of work. I guess I'm old school, because no matter how much you talk over time and distance, its the face to face getting to know each other that defines if there is a spark or not.

lmnotok

well, this is funny, you know, he sent me things and now he withdraws. Usually i heard from him every in 3-4 days, well, the last time i heard from him is 10 days ago, and nothing now. This surprises me. Anyone can tell me why this withdraw thing happens? I'm just curious, and i'm not gonna ask him because he is always giver and always is the one who writes or contacts me first.