My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and I love him dearly. I feel like we are compatible in many ways and I have a lot of fun with him. He’s my first love.

But he has a bad past that is really taking a toll on our relationship. He’s currently on probation and will be for another 1½ years which seems like forever!!!! Probation makes it sooo impossible. He’s violated his probation twice already and is paying the price for it.. the second probation violation hearing isn’t until June. It’s put a major stresser on me because Im worried that he’s going to forget something (which is why he got his first violation) and screw up and end up in jail.. He also lost his job several months ago and it was VERY hard for him to find another job because of his felony and that again was another huge stresser on our relationship, the constant worry was horrible. Thankfully he got a job recently and he’s going to school to be a mechanic so things are looking up.

It’s just that I feel like I’m his mother sometimes, I have to remind him all the time about things that he forgets and he just has to be prodded and nagged before he does it.. for example he was supposed to get his papers signed for finishing community service and it’s due tomorrow (this was from his first probation violation) and he left it until the VERY last minute and had to have me come all the way to his house and drive him there to get it signed because he was too sick to drive. I had to miss three hours of work.. and then after work I have to go to his house and drive him to the hospital to get him a tetanus shot because he hurt his hand at work yesterday, and he thinks he might have pneumonia (hence the reason he couldn’t drive his butt to the community service place today)

So I’m just really confused, he without a doubt wants to marry me and he was thinking about proposing to me this weekend (we talked about it and he is not going to now). But I just love him to death and a big part of me wants to marry him too, but im just worried that all this drama isn’t going to go away and I hate having to be his mother..

What are your opinions on this? What would you guys do in my situation?

ZigZag07

I think thats great that your not giving up on him, or judging him by his past. It seems like you have helped him out a TON! and thats great. If i were you, I would sit him done and just tell him "I want things to work, and i am helping you, but you also need to help yourlself put your life back in order." Remind him that your proud of his progress, but it would help if he put some more effort into changing his life for the best.

thecleaninglady

My man has a felony on his record as well as 2 warrants & a suspended driver's license. Life has just sh*t on this man (im not saying he hasn't contributed to any of it, but still) he has many issues he needs worked out.
hope is not lost, i PROMISE. this is just one of those obstacles life throws at you but if you look at it as a test of your bond/love it does make things a bit more optomistic.
it really seems like your man loves you & im very happy to hear that. it's fantastic that he's working AND going to school, a majority of people won't even do that.
it will be hard, but try not to overwhelm yourself by attempting to fix everything at once. you 2 have the REST of your lives to be together & unfortunately there are no quick fixes for these things, they just take time.
have you considered talking to a professional? i understand if that might not be an option for any reason, but sometimes they can do alot of good. many churches offer free counseling but that is only an option if you don't mind being counseled religiously.