[mckenzie134]

I have been on a break with my ex for a month she said she just wasn't ready for a serious relationship like we were having she is 22 I'm 28 we have been together 3 1/2 years. I have been in contact with her I am the one who has been calling and messagig noing that is wrong she still seems a bit keen even one night I went and we were back at her placeand she wanted me in the bed and said she had not felt this way for a long time. Do you think the spark has gone and 2weeks off will help or should I maintain contact and just be friends with her and act like the break is fine with me. Or should I just disappear?? She has always liked me and wanted to see me that bit more keenly when I'm busy but then when I thinkof it if I disappear she is sometimes the type to just say well he doesn't care I'm not sure to try and stay in contact and win her back or not contact and hope she calls... anyone know hich way to go... I'm 28 she is 22 she said she needs to findherself but I'm ot sure thi is the truth 5 months ago she told me she wanted a break she did not love me emotionally maybe that's the same again and she is lying saying she jujst wants to find herself/...

[talaniman]

If you think she is lying then disappear. You must realise that she may be telling the truth and is not ready for a relationship like you want and wants to experience being single and free. There is nothing you can do to stop that. Remember how you were at that age? Were you ready for a relationship or were you wild and single? Give her time and see how she feels in a week or two, but be ready to move on. You should already have a life you enjoy with out her, and many friends, so give her the time and space to enjoy her youth with out pressure from you.

[diya]

No relationship is one sided... it takes two to tango... if someone needs space and doesn't want to be with you at that given point in time, then why want to be with a person who is not yet ready to share with you... do your own things and if she's meant to be yours she'll come around... don't worry too much

[Geoffersonairplane]

Hi McKenzie124,

I have PM'd you my thoughts and this is quite similar in some ways to my ex and our breakup.

My thoughts are that your ex met you very young, stayed with you for 3 1/2 years and now feels that she is missing out on the single life and wants to be young for a while... This may mean months but perhaps even years. 22 is still very young and she probably needs to find herself now. She may not be ready like you are and is in a different maturity level than you.

I had to ask myself the same questions, was I ready at 21? (my ex's age), no, I was enjoying being young and single, finding myself. This helps you to understand things better, it does not alleviate the emotional pain but it does help remove some of the confusion that builds up while we learn to accept the reality of what has happened.

My advice is to give her the space she desires, implement no contact and work on yourself for a while. She may never come back and you are going to have to accept this, and even if she did, you may not even want her back. Certainly try and give up on false hope as this is the dominant factor that debilitates the healing of someone who is left behind, trust me.