[joannemcelvie]

Im 16 and I'm a high school. The past year has been really difficult for me s my best friend died, I've been having family problems and I have been feeling very down for large periods.

I used to talk to my school guidance teacher about things but then I felt as if I was annoying him because I always had a lot going on that I wanted to talk to him about. I felt as if I couldn't talk to anyone other than him so it was always him I landed stuff on.

I tried to stop talking to him as much because I realised that he had 200 other pupils to help and it wasn't just me. I started to bottle things up and it got too much for me. I started having frequent panic attacks and one of the other guidance teachers noticed this so he started helping me.

He did a lot for me like taking me to the doctors and listening to all my stupid problems. I started to feel as if I was annoying him too.

Talking to this teacher would always be the highlight of my week and I would always look forward to the next time I could have a chat with him. Recently I started self harming because of stuff going on in the house so my friend (who also self harms) told him for me and we had a chat about it. He gave me some advice then said "we'll talk soon".

Now that he knows that I self harm, I'm not sure what the kind of things are that I should tell him about because I don't want to be telling him everything or I'll be with him 24/7.

I just really don't want to be bottling things up anymore.

Please help me? x
Update : Im also not sure how often I should be talking to him without it getting too much?

[odinn7]

Maybe it's time for your parents to know all this and help you with a therapist. School guidance counselors are generally good people that do want to help but at this point, it may be more of something that should go to a therapist.

[joypulv]

I'll come right out and say it - yes, I think you have gone over the line of the amount that one counselor can handle. They are there for guidance, not therapy, and as odinn7 says, you need therapy. This doesn't mean (I hope) that you fall apart in remorse, because the counselors are quite capable of saying this themselves. It's possible that they know what we don't know - that your home life isn't likely to lend itself to help getting into therapy, or even that there will be resistance. You tell us.
Why not express this worry to the counselors? Don't worry about THEM!

(Also, it's characteristic of depression to think you are dragging people down. That could be a concern with a best friend, but not with a teach, counselor, or therapist. Not only do they have lives outside of yours to keep them happy and fulfilled, but they also are trained to not get embroiled emotionally, to keep 'professional distance' for their sake and yours.)

[talaniman]

I have to agree. If you feel you are annoying them then say something, but in reality they would have said something themselves. Or referred you elsewhere. Maybe more than one outlet for your issues would be helpful, but not possible at this time, but many church groups have mentoring and counseling programs even if you aren't especially religious.

There may also be support groups for teens that share family issues, or support groups for self harmers also to check out. You can run these by your guidance counselors.

[Jake2008]

You have options.

What I suggest you need, is a therapist, who you see, as often as you need to, and the therapy is more involved, and reliable. You don't need to worry if you are taking up too much of a therapists help; they help in effective ways, for as long as you need them.

While some good probably came of your chats to the guidance counselors, they are not therapists. I am surprised that the cutting was not something that was reported to the CPS, and your parents. At that point the guidance counselor you told, should have clearly stated what he had to legally do. Help, outside his area of expertise, should have started right then and there.

You are doing nothing wrong. You feel the way you do, and have described quite well the reasons you need to speak to someone. Through a therapist (maybe start with your family doctor for referral), can offer all kinds of help, effective help, specifically for teens with problems.

Please get that ball rolling.

[Fr_Chuck]

You need to take your parents to see the counselor and arrange a plan for getting treatment.