[muffin55]

Hi,
I am 30, I have a ?friend? who is almost 40 who I work with. Although recently I'd been re-evaluating how close we really were as friends. There was something (that little voice) inside that lately had wanted to keep her at somewhat of a distance... did not feel comfortable with letting her into my "circle of trust" hah.

Over the past few months we've gotten a new supervisor, who I get along with great. My career is going well. She and the new supervisor did not get along. I've been called a "suck up" a few times by this ?friend? and I finally asked her to please stop calling me a suck up. She apologized and said she would no longer make light/joke of any situation.

She said that she would stop doing several things because she thought they would upset me. I told her that as a friend, I wanted to let her know how her words made me feel sometimes. She said, awesome so glad you did, have a good night.

She ignored me the next time I saw her at work, and things are still a bit awkward.

However, I do not regret telling her that her words stung a bit. Others might think I am sensitive, and maybe I am. But my other friends who are near and dear to my heart do not say such things. I thought that, as a true friend, she would be okay with understanding this.

So, please help me process this situation, as I am still ruminating about it. Please give me advice for feeling less awkward around her at work.

[DoulaLC]

Perhaps this friendship has run its course, as many do. She may have been more of a friendly work acquaintance than an actual friend.

You let her know that you didn't appreciate the remarks and she felt put in her place instead of acknowledging that she didn't mean to upset you and offer a sincere apology... as a real friend would. It sounds as though she was jealous of your good standing with the boss and was not able to be pleased for you.

Be polite when you see her and just let things progress naturally. The two of you may become friendly once again, or you may find that you really don't mind if the friendship sort of fades away as you both move on.

[talaniman]

Its normal to be upset for a while when people and situations throw you off but don't dwell so much on it. Obviously you weren't the great friends you thought you were. Takes time for the emotional dust to settle after its been kicked up suddenly.

Like any "break up", you keep a distance, and in time you heal and move on. Now you know about her, deal accordingly.

[smoothy]

As the others have said... didn't seem like much of a real friend to begin with. Because you work with them you have to remain cordial, but you don't have to hang out with them or confide in them. Treat them just like you would any other coworker. After all, your job could depend on it. And that's far more important than they are right now. You'll get past it soon enough. Just don't make a huge mistake and get sucked into the tit for tat thing.