[jenny666]

I've been dating this guy for about 2 years now.. he has a best friend who is a girl and they've known each other since childhood. He fought with me for her for no absolute reason asked me to off.. I kind of developed an ill feeling towards her not because she's bad but because of my boy friend's behaviour. I feel that he gives her more importance and I pointed it out to him. He clarified it in front of her that both of you are important. Later we had a huge fight because of her and now I said you have to choose one he chose her. She's going out with another guy and they are soon to be wedded. Can you suggest what to do? He also said having her in his life is more important than having me.

[joypulv]

So you delivered an ultimatum 'Choose between us' and were surprised when he chose his old good friend? I'm not sure what you want us to tell you. You made your choice, it's her or me, and he made his choice, it's her. So you find someone more to your liking. But be forewarned: jealousy of long time friends never ends well. Jealousy in any form never ends well. I am sympathetic because I (like just about the entire world) have felt jealousy - it's normal enough. But you keep a lid on it for the very reason that happened to you.

Life is all about compromises. We accept all sorts of things about people that we don't like, just to have the things we do like.

[smoothy]

Joy got this spot on. If you put yourself intentionally between someone and their lifelong friend being they have only known a couple years, literally, expect to end up on the losing end nearly all the time.

As was said... jealousy is not an endearing trait, and it nearly always leads to the opposite of what you want.

I'm sorry to tell you, demanding people give up their friends to satisfy your own insecurities always ends badly. And it always causes deep resentment in the person pressured to turn their backs on people who have always been there for them, in cases like this, their entire life. At least he had the backbone to tell you now rather than stew over it for months or years before he did.

[odinn7]

There's a woman I have been friends with for a long, long time. Friends only. We have been there for each other when needed. This is one of the few people in the world that I know, with no doubt in my mind, that I can count on. A person like this is hard to find. Anyway, I was forced to choose...she didn't like my friend. Too bad. Someone that has been there with no strings...someone that was there to listen if that's all I needed...someone that means as much to me as she does, and you are going to make me choose because you don't like her simply because you are jealous? Yeah, that will never work out well for anyone. So no, the friend stayed.

I also found it funny in my case...my friend had done nothing wrong to make anyone jealous so I felt like it was more of a control issue...to see how well I was wrapped around her finger. She found out I wasn't wrapped around any finger at all. Looks like that is how it is going for you as well.

Never make anyone choose. If you are jealous and can't handle it, you simply need to break up. If you are jealous and there is a reason for it, again, you need to break up. It's simple really.