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rumps11 · Aug 3, 2014, 07:55 AM

So let me start by saying by girlfriend and I are both 17, going into grade 12 next year. We have been dating since grade 9.

We've had a very fun relationship. We always were very light with each other, but got serious when we had to. We did all kinds if different stuff together, made the best memories, and did sweet things for each other (for valentines day she made a jar labelled reasons I love you and filled then with little notes).

However we did have some bad times, like most couples. We've taken a break before, but we got back together and were happy again. One issue she always had with me was that I wasn't very self confident and would worry about other guys, but I've slowly started to change that.

So this summer she went to Germany for 5 weeks. The last two weeks we saw each other were amazing. We had such good times, and we would always talk about how much we'd miss each other and how summer will be so fun once she gets back. So she left and I spent the next few weeks hanging out with friends and waiting for her to get home. Well after a couple weeks, she started acting different. I was bugging her about some guys she had met there, and her mood changed, she became kind of boring over text.

So when she got back a few days ago I rushed to see her, when she told me it's over. She said I had done nothing wrong, the 'feeling' between us wasn't there anymore. She says it wasn't because she had met another guy, she just said she'd be happier without me. I was a mess obviously, telling her that te last time she saw me she was perfectly happy, now she isn't? She said she still loved me cause I was her first love, but she didn't like me anymore. It was over.

I've been crying ever since she told me that. I spend so much time with her, now it's over. All the good memories will never happen again. I still have such strong feelings for her it hurts so much. I have no ambition to do anything, I cannot picture any oter girl in my future except her. I just don't know what to do.

teacherjenn4 · Aug 3, 2014, 08:32 AM

First of all, you need to stop allowing this breakup to take over your life. Get out, visit with your friends and start thinking about the upcoming school year. Don't worry about dating anyone else. If you have plans to attend college, make sure you keep your grades up and do your best in school. Find activities at school you've never had time for. The pain will ease up over time. I know it hurts, but don't allow this to ruin your senior year of high school.

talaniman · Aug 3, 2014, 08:38 AM

Sorry for your hurt but one of the hardest lessons we learn when we are young (or old) is that feelings and situations change and we have to accept them because we have no control over the words, thoughts, actions and feeling of others.

The good news is you are not alone, and we all go through this, some more than others, and we all heal and grow from this experience. Hard to imagine now while it is a fresh hurt, but it will get better. It's okay to cry for now and not know what to do, but when the crying is done get your a$$ up and regroup, rebuild, and get ready for whatever life throw at you next.

It's not the end of the world, so something will be next.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 3, 2014, 08:54 AM

You were lucky and unlucky. Most high school romance do not last that long. Most only a few months. During those years you both changed, and changed a lot.

During her time apart, most likely she realised she wanted her life, to go in another direction.

You just realise, that life goes on, and go back seeing friends and having as much fun as you can.

joypulv · Aug 3, 2014, 09:25 AM

'One issue she always had with me was that I wasn't very self confident and would worry about other guys, but I've slowly started to change that.'

Baloney. You said so yourself, 'I was bugging her about some guys she had met there, and her mood changed, she became kind of boring over text.'

I would have dumped you first time you got jealous, but I haven't been your age in a million years.
Now don't think you can plead your case with her. She's done. The feeling is GONE. But you need to work on jealousy for the future, or this will happen over and over and over and the rest of your life. I've seen it.
Jealousy is poison. It's awful. It's human nature, but WE PUT A LID ON IT for the sake of a good, non-possessive relationship. Only people who remain immature and think the world revolves around them continue to indulge in it openly. You say you aren't self confident. I say you are self centered. TEACH YOURSELF.