[juanuno20]

Hi everyone, first of thank you for spending your time reading this message, I appreciate it a lot.

My name is Jac 20 yrs old and my Ex gf's name is Alie. We were together for 3 years, she's lovely, beautiful, sweet, caring and a type of girl that doesn't talk to any guys that much. A type of girl who doesn't go out a lot, who preffered to spend her time with me rather than going out with everyone. A type of girl who reminds me to do whatever things I have to do cause she knows I forget easily as I don't do reminder, she was my lover, my very best friend who accept all my flaws and loved me in good or bad times.

1st year was amazing until on our 1.5 years we were on and off, I found out Ally and this other guy were flirting tru messages but after I got mad Ally stopped talking to him. Few weeks after I met this other girl whom I cheated with Ally, It lasted for 3 weeks but I stopped cause I really love my girlfriend. Since then, my girlfriend changed but she forgive me.

On our 2nd year our relationship was like a roller coaster, we all know in the relationship there is always 1 person who loves more and It was me. I was the one who loved more and she knows that for sure, I was weak and was so emotional, I was the one who always run after her whenever we fight even if it's her fault. I believe on the saying "better to lose the pride than to lose the one you love" but on the other hand I felt that my Gf lost respect for me as I ddnt have pride anymore. She's the kind of girl who can hide her feelings when she's hurting, who cries on herself without telling me but she still had this weak side that I know..

On our 2.5 years, things between us has been tough as she has taken me for granted cause I always ran after her. It was like she has the control on our relationship. I was depressed until I needed a time for myself, I needed a Holiday. I went on Holiday in my country for 3 weeks, that's when my Gf realised all the things that she has done wrong and promised me to change to do better one when I come back.

While I was on my holiday, I cheated on her with 3 different girls, one was my ex. Every time I do the cheating the only thing that came to my mind was "this should be alright to have fun(cheating), i wouldnt be here doing this if Ally ddnt stress me out, if Ally ddnt take me for granted"

I guess I cheated cause I was weak, cause instead of getting the strength to my girlfriend to feel better I was getting it from other girls.

To make the story short, Ally and I broke up on our nearly 3rd year anniversary. Due of having a lot of fights. I broke up with her, after 2 weeks I tried to get her back. But she ddnt want it anymore because she's been hearing things from my friends, like cheating.

It has been 2 months since we broke up so I finally decided to let her go, my ex and I were together from 5pm-3am. Went for dinner, park and stayed in the car. We talked, for our last closure.

I told her all the truth that I cheated and she don't deserve me. I loved her very much that she onced became my world and my everything but still I cheated and that she was my biggest lesson in life. I told her the truth that there's this conflict that I want her back but I have to let her go because sometimes once it is broken its better to leave things the way it is rather than fixing it because it will only keep hurting us. I had to let her go the fact that she deserves someone who can love her like I did but will never cheat on her for so many times.

I wished her a very best future, I told her that its time for her to spend time alone to see what she's capable of to find herself, make a lot of friends and do the things she love.

She asked me if we can be friends, I said No. I told her the truth if we stay as a friends its like we are only fooling ourselves that wer okay even though wer not. I told her we need to heal we need to see what life is without "us". Time will come when we are already moved on then we can start a friendship as onced we became a very best friends.

We decided to block each other on everything, not to meet up anymore. So now Im distant with our common friends and I started to make a group of friends who's she's not friends with. So we won't really see each other.

Thank you so much for reading this. I just want to ask, did I do the right thing of letting her go? Because some nights I still think of what ifs. What if I stayed what If I did fight for her and prove that I can change then we would have been happy by now.

[Oliver2011]

Ewwww. Such drama.

"this should be alright to have fun(cheating), i wouldnt be here doing this if Ally ddnt stress me out, if Ally ddnt take me for granted" - Bull crappies. You cheated because you cheat because you are a cheater. In other words just as you could have chosen not to cheat, you chose to cheat. Call it for what it is.

There so much drama in the above story it makes the reader exhausted. Unfortunately you two might bring your next partners this kind of drama, and that would be sad for your next partners.

Having said that what you wrote is not a relationship. It's too people more worried about themselves more than they are about their partner. In a relationship you put their needs and feelings above your own. There isn't "She got mad on Monday, I got mad on Tuesday, she cheated on Wednesday, I cheated on Thursday, etc." Please take a break from being in a relationship because the both of you are way too immature to be in one.

[DoulaLC]

You cheated on her several times... and mention a number of times "all the things that she has done wrong"? She didn't make you cheat, you made that choice on your own. It sounds as though she found out about the cheating, after one of your many fights, and SHE broke up with you. You only decided to "let her go" because she wouldn't come back. I would have left you too and not gone back, because how would she know that you changed... because you said so? She would no longer be able to trust you.

You did the right thing, as Oliver said, you are not ready to be in a relationship with anyone. Learn from this. You need to think about your actions in this relationship, and not just hers, that made it what it was. Only then can you try not to repeat them the next time you are with someone. You can't control someone else, but you can control what you do and what you say. Use the "what ifs" to make better decisions next time.

[smoothy]

I agree with the above two posters, You NEED to spend some quality time With Roise Palmer and her sisters... you aren't ready for a real relationsip with a real woman yet. As is obvious from your self admitted actions.

Yeah..I know thats harsh....but take a look at what your wrote, now imagine SHE was your kid sister or your daughter and her boyfriend was doing what you did to her?

Don't think you woudl have approved of it much...would you?

[juanuno20]

My ex girlfriend for 3 years and I broke up 2 months and a half ago, I broke up with her but 2 weeks later I wanted her back like I begged and pleaded for a month so at the end I was the dumpee. Reason that she ddnt really want me back is that she founds out that I cheated 3 times and so I decided to fully let her go and accept that she will never come back.

2 weeks ago we had our final closure told her that I blocked her on everything because Its not because of being bitter its because I want to help myself to move on and heal because every time I see her all the memories we had comes back and it's a pain for me. I rejected her offer as to stay as friends because it won't allow me to heal.

So right now I haven't spoken to her I haven't seen her for 2 weeks

But this Friday our common one of our really close friends invited is for dinner. Myself, my Ex, the birthday celebrant and his best friend.

The question is, should I go or not? I know that I should go because he has been my friend for 4 years but at the same time I'm worried of what will my ex think about me as I know after that dinner she will still be in my block list which means I haven't heal myself yet.


Or if I go, what act should I do because its only 4 of us having a dinner so It is really impossible not to have a conversation with her.

Thanks so much.

[smoothy]

Based on your other thread.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post3671118

I'd thank them for the invitation but tell them you can't attend. The hell with what she thinks... but why put yourself through it.

[Oliver2011]

"Or if I go, what act should I do" - I am sticking with my previous answer. What you had wasn't a relationship and you are already planing an "act" if you do go. That's all your previous time with her was - an act. But apparently you like drama in your life so you will probably go and we will have to hear more about it. You should spend some time finding out what a true relationship is like before you allow another girl into your life. In other words it's time for you to grow up.

[talaniman]

I believe you both should stay apart and grow up, despite your friends trying to put you both back together. And your threads have been merged to keep the whole story in one place.

[DoulaLC]

Politely decline to attend that particular celebration and then invite your friend out to lunch or dinner at another time to celebrate with you.