[bluespirits]

I seriously need help with this, I'm going through intense depression over this and only need serious answers who will help me accept what's happened...

I was with my recent ex 4 years ago, he was extremely physical and mentally abusive and also a cheater. I ended it. 4 years later, he came back begging me to give him another chance, so I did. Everything was great until about 4 months in. He would constantly talk about children with me (I'm 19 and he's 23) but I wasn't 100% committed to it yet because I was still working on trusting him again and he knew that, he said he was OK with it. About 4 months in he became quite distant and cold towards me, he lost his licence so I would drive him everywhere, to work, dinner etc. I spent every night in his room while he played games and I sat there. He hardly seemed interested in most things I would say and everything he would talk about was gaming. A friend ended up messaging me that he had seen his ex. I asked him and he got mad and denied it, I then asked to see his messages and just as I asked a message popped up from her, asking if they will hangout again. I left that night, he asked to see me so we would talk about it, but he was quite rude about it saying it was nothing yet he had to lie to me about it and delete all messages that were sent.

He blocked her on Facebook so I would have peace of mind. 2 weeks later his phone went of with a message from her on Facebook, he deleted it right in front of me.. and said he accidentally deleted it, so I broke up with him that night, so he obviously unblocked her for a reason. He didn't fight for me at all, and a week later he's back with that ex.

I don't understand, I thought he loved me? He got my name tattooed on him, I thought I was everything to him.

Did I do the right thing?

[Fr_Chuck]

Only mistake was talking him back the first time..

[talaniman]

You are supposed to be depressed when you give a lying, cheating boob a second chance, and he blows it AGAIN. Even worse this time. But now you know he is not a person of his word, and you should never trust him with your heart EVER again. Yes the reality is quite depressing, but the good news is you have done the right thing by leaving him, and you will eventually forgive YOURSELF for taking him back. We all make mistakes in the name of LOVE.

Its natural to be depressed at first after such a mistake, but you don't have to stay depressed about it much longer. Forgive yourself, and heal from this experience, and do better. You will in time I feel (we all do), just for now while its fresh, it sucks!

Love is grand and makes you hopeful, until you find out your partner only loved themselves, and NOT you. Maybe its too soon now, but after the hurt, and depression you will be very glad for a chance to do better. It just will take time, but you WILL get there. You have already accepted it, you left. You just have not had time to recognize it yet.

YOU WILL.

[broken_ heart]

You did the right thing in leaving him... don't even think in your dream to get back with him in any case.. no matter what.. he will try... will cry.. will do anything to convince you... and once he will get your confidence again.. he will cheat on... trust me.. guys like this.. will never change... and 1% if everything goes as per your terms.. marriage and all... may be he will hide it from you... but believe he will cheat on you... all your life... he had broken your trust... you gave me another chance... he did it again... you keep on giving him chance... he will keep on doing it again and again... and this cycle won't break.. until you actually break it... you did absolutely right thing... don't think about him... he doesn't deserve it... instead utilize your time by doing something good to your life... please don't give him another chance... he will hurt you... be safe... you don't need a cheater or do you.. think yourself and act wise.. these weak moments make us do mistakes... which costs us really high... you did right... now stick to that... he is not good for your life...

And please don't be depressed... the time you will lose in your depression will never come back to you... and when you realize this... you would have lost much... I m telling you with my personal experience... it will only eat your precious years... doing nothing... just thinking of someone who really doesn't care... don't do it to yourself... go out.. be with your friends... whether you like or not... you have to come out of this depression... otherwise you will lose much...

[smoothy]

He should have never gotten a second chance... and you shouldn't be second guessing or even thinking about giving him a third chance.

[bluespirits]

Was with my ex a few years ago and he was cheating on me and sneaking around the whole time. I ended it.5 years later he comes back promising me he has changed and he won't do anything to wreck us this time.I found out he had messaged his ex and met up with her about 8 months in (a friend of a friend told me), i confronted him and he denied it, then found out that it was true. I stayed with him even though i promised myself if he did this kind of this again id leave, too many chances i thought. (He also blocked her and said he would never talk to her again and gave me his Facebook password) We got into a massive fight and he ended up changing his Facebook password so i didnt know it anymore, but i didn't ask or make comment, i just hoped he kept his word and didn't unblock her and talk to her, he agreed to try his best to fix our problems. A few weeks later, his phone goes off with a message from her (so he obviously unblocked her,) then when i asked to see the message, he said he 'accidentally deleted it.' I left him after that because i figured it was pretty black and white, no reason to delete the message right?Then they are back together within a week of us breaking up. I then got told my someone who asked him why we split, his answer was 'she left me cause my ex messaged me.'Did i over react? or was my reasons good enough? Why is he saying that to people?

[odinn7]

Looks like you asked a very similar question 2 weeks ago...do you expect different answers now? Though it was a similar question, lots of points are different between this one and the last one.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post3670477

Of course you did the right thing. The guy is a liar and a cheater. You should never have taken him back the first time around.
He was with her within a week...doesn't that tell you enough right there? And as to why he would tell people about you breaking up with him, do you think he is going to tell people, "oh yeah, I was cheating on her so she broke up with me." no, he is going to make himself look better.

Stop wasting your time and thoughts on this guy, move on and find someone that will respect you.

[talaniman]

It no longer matters what he does or says anymore. Heal and move on and don't look back. Why are you even dredging up old hurts and wound?