[lovenhatehim]

I am in a long distance relationship and it was all beautiful like any love story in the beginning. But now things have soured just too much. My boyfriend thinks I am good for nothing. He thinks I am lazy and never work hard. He thinks that I am never serious about my life and career. I guess everyone thinks about their future. Aren't bfs supposed to be supportive? I don’t know how to say this I am still a student and he is doing well in life. I don’t know if I should leave him but I love him just too much. I cannot imagine being with someone else. I have dreamed of a life with him. We argue most of the times it’s been an endless months of quarrels and arguments. Although in the end we try to make things all right for few minutes which leads to another argument.

God I am sick and tired of all this. I have no good friends to confide on neither I’m too close with my family. I feel lost and hopeless. He was the only one who could bring happiness in my life but everything is turning into a disaster. I cannot concentrate on anything. My life has become useless. When I just start to get over him he comes back and assures me that things will be all right but I don’t know if it’s ever true. I wonder if he truly loves me .If he loves me he would accept me as I’m .I cannot leave him or live with him. We haven’t met for 1.5 years. I thought waiting for him is right but now I’m confused. May be I will never be able to love someone as I love him. What should I do? I need help.

[lilianamg]

Ok I'm going through a similar in some way situation as yours for me its also hard to let go of someone who I love and don't imagine my life without I understand you believe it or not and it hurts it's a happiness you have to let go. In your cause if he is nor supporting you and you guys argue all the time is it worth it? There are more people out there , that you can meet not necesarly a boyfriend but friends you can mean that support you. Is there any specific thing that makes you have hope everything will be better?

[joypulv]

'Arent bfs suppose to be supportive.'

Yes. He isn't your boyfriend. And you haven't seen him in ONE AND A HALF YEARS!
I don't know why he is stringing you along, unless he just needs someone to put down.
What he is thinking or doing isn't the question, however.
The question is why are you still in love with him? WHY? Get out and find new friends! You can't just stop thinking about him unless you REPLACE him with studies, hobbies, friends, work.

[talaniman]

I think you should stand on your own two feet and keep him out of your life so you can build a life that you enjoy with family and friends to support you and keep you focused on what's important. Your life not his.

[lovenhatehim]

Ok im going through a similiar in some way situation as yours for me its also hard to let go of someone who i love and dont imagine my life without i understand you believe it or not and it hurts its a happiness you have to let go. In your cause if he is nor supporting you and you guys argue all the time is it worth it? There are more people out there , that you can meet not necesarly a bf but friends you can mean that support you. Is there any specific thing that makes you have hope everything will be better?

I don't know :(

'Arent bfs suppose to be supportive.'

Yes. He isn't your bf. And you haven't seen him in ONE AND A HALF YEARS!
I don't know why he is stringing you along, unless he just needs someone to put down.
What he is thinking or doing isn't the question, however.
The question is why are you still in love with him? WHY? Get out and find new friends! You can't just stop thinking about him unless you REPLACE him with studies, hobbies, friends, work.

Saying is easier than doing :(

I think you should stand on your own two feet and keep him out of your life so you can build a life that you enjoy with family and and friends to support you and keep you focused on whats important. Your life not his.

You your right but I am LOST :(

[joypulv]

Yes, saying is easier than doing. But you have no choice, unless you prefer misery.
You are a student. Join SOMETHING. The student paper, the theater club, making tapes for the blind students. Talk to someone who sits beside you in class, even if it's to ask 'do you enjoy this class.'
You are wallowing in self-pity. I've done it myself. So have a few hundred million others, out of more than 6 billion.
Look at it another way: the more you isolate and do nothing, the less interesting you are to this man. Do you think love is something magical that comes down from above and exists independent of situations and time? No, you have to keep it alive by being more than just a clinging flower. Get a life. You may lose him, you may have already lost him, you may not be right for each other, he may want a very ambitious career woman rather than a wife and mother. But you need to do this for yourself, and for the next person you fall in love with.

[Fr_Chuck]

You need a real life, not a online life. Is this the reason you have no good friends to talk to ?
You need to have friends, does not have to be boys, that you go out with, have lunch, talk and share with.

A boyfriend is supportive, but a boyfriend also would see you at least once or twice a year, esp if he is successful and so on. Start limiting the time you talk with him, and control it.

[backpack2389]

"God I am sick and tired of all this."

And at this point, you should just be done with it.

If you don't have friends, make some. It's intimidating to think about but it's really not so difficult to do. And it definitely should not be standing in the way of you getting out of this situation.

Joining a student organization is a great suggestion. If you pick something you even slightly enjoy you can bet you will have at least one thing in common with every other person that joins that group. Once you get involved, you will have so many things you can talk about. All it will take is one meeting - from there you ask questions, talk about the other people, upcoming events/plans, things you're excited about, etc.

If you're in a class, find something you could use a little help with and ask another person in the class. If they can answer your question, chances are they'll be willing to do so. If they can't answer your question, it's likely they'll be relieved to find someone else who is struggling and will be open to working together. All you need is one thing to begin a conversation and once you open up the lines of communication, it's mush easier to keep things going.

[talaniman]

QUOTE by lovenhatehim;
I don't know :(

Find out. :)

saying is easier than doing :(

Then get busy. :)

you your right but I am LOST :(

Find yourself. Get off the pity pot and look around you at LIFE. What's so hard about that? :)

[Fr_Chuck]

I have a real good friend, well he was before. We worked together and we both talked about quitting and starting our own business.

I did, and now I retired and moved to China.

He is still working at the same place, doing the same job, complaining every day, that he should do something else.

He makes his choice every day. You make your choice every day.
Doing what is easy is not always the right thing to do

[lovenhatehim]

Yes, saying is easier than doing. But you have no choice, unless you prefer misery.
You are a student. Join SOMETHING. The student paper, the theater club, making tapes for the blind students. Talk to someone who sits beside you in class, even if it's to ask 'do you enjoy this class.'
You are wallowing in self-pity. I've done it myself. So have a few hundred million others, out of more than 6 billion.
Look at it another way: the more you isolate and do nothing, the less interesting you are to this man. Do you think love is something magical that comes down from above and exists independent of situations and time? No, you have to keep it alive by being more than just a clinging flower. Get a life. You may lose him, you may have already lost him, you may not be right for each other, he may want a very ambitious career woman rather than a wife and mother. But you need to do this for yourself, and for the next person you fall in love with.

Ya I get it now :( thank you for your thoughts... you he is for a very ambitious career women... I guess its over... Gosh why do we meet so many wrong people in life

[joypulv]

We meet so many wrong people for us because there is so much variety in people.
That's why you have to meet a LOT of people.
Personally I wonder how any two people last a lifetime together. I haven't. I have loved and dumped and been dumped, and that's life.
Millions of people have arranged marriages or they marry for the convenience of sharing the struggle of survival.
Others just keep going from one to another, trying over and over again.
Very few marry for love and keep that love for the rest of their lives.