[Preemie]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We had a child last year who was born at only 1 pound. It was a really rough time for the both of us. I really wanted to be married before I had a child. I Was on birth control which obviously didn't do it's job. So as much as I wanted to be married first , I didn't want to get married just because I was pregnant.

Now my baby is a year old and it makes me sick that I have a different name from her but I don't want to mention marriage to my boyfriend and ruin the chances of him coming upon it on his own. He has mentioned it before and says he wants to wait until we have money but we're the type of people who are never going to have money. So should I just forget about getting married.

I'm not one of them girls who want to get married just to be married. I believe we will be together forever married or not. But is it fair for me to live my life not ever getting what is important to me. I don't want anything big. What should I do? And please nothing ignorant. I am not a naïve little girl. Just a woman looking for opinions.

[odinn7]

My brother in law is doing the same thing... wants to wait... but he's been with her for 14 years... still waiting.

[Preemie]

My brother in law is doing the same thing....wants to wait....but he's been with her for 14 years....still waiting.

Well that's depressing! That's OK for people who don't care either way if they r married. I feel guilty stressing this when there r bigger things to worry about. But this is important to me.

[JudyKayTee]

I don't understand why you can't mention the subject to him - ? What is important to you is obviously not important to you.

If he's going to say no, well, then you know now to change your plans instead of wasting another 7 years IF you want to get married.

I can beat Odinn's record - my aunt "dated" and waited for a proposal for 20 years, right up until he met someone and married that "someone" in four months' time.

[odinn7]

Well that's depressing! That's ok for people who don't care either way if they r married. I feel guilty stressing this when there r bigger things to worry about. But this is important to me.

How do you know if they care or not? My brother in law obviously doesn't want to get married... his girlfriend (and mother of 2 of his children) does want it but he keeps making excuses.

And you feel guilty stressing it? It's something that you want, right? 7 years and he is still making excuses... it's not going change by itself.

[talaniman]

7 year of waiting for him to do something should have taught you that if you want it, work for it yourself. Tell him what you want and when you want it and go from there. He has what he wants already.

[Preemie]

7 year of waiting for him to do something should have taught you that if you want it, work for it yourself. Tell him what you want and when you want it and go from there. He has what he wants already.

Thank you all for your honesty. I guess I've been lying to myself. When he does have money, like his 7g tax return. It all goes on his car and hobbies. I guess I just needed an outside source to tell me what I already know. I guess I put too much faith in him . False hope.Anyway Thank you for your help