[Neuro0811]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 years, and it was very serious. We were talking about marriage. The only twist is that he's Jewish and I'm not, and wants me to convert. We decided to take a break from each other to figure out what we want. We were split up for about a month, and during that time I started talking to another guy. When me and my boyfriend reconnected, I told him I wasn't sure what I wanted and that I needed a bit more time. That night, I slept with this guy. It wasn't exactly something I had planned, but at the time it felt right. I really do love my boyfriend, and I have been losing sleep over this. Should I tell him, or not? Technically, we're not together right now, but I want to do what's best for both of us.

[backpack2389]

You were with him for three years, but as soon as you had a short break, you slept with someone else. Just from the tone of your post, it seems that you feel you did something wrong and I would agree.

Based on your behavior, I don't think you have any idea what you really want. You are just being drawn to your ex because you are unsure how to feel about what you did and if you return to him, you'll feel like everything is right again. However, if you sincerely desire to be with your ex, then you need to tell him what happened and let him decide what he wants to do.

[kctiger]

I think you like your ex, or whatever you want to call him, because he is comfortable. There is a "natural" feeling of home you get from him, which is understandable since you've dated him for three years.

So you slept with someone else, who cares? I don't see it as a big deal since you were not together. I do think that taking a "break" is really a step towards all out break up. Whether you two see that or not, I don't know. I would be cautious to rush back into your ex's arms just because there is familiarity there. I don't think you are all that ready to settle down and get married. Nothing wrong with that, and nothing wrong with not knowing what you want. There would be something wrong with lying to yourself about that.

You owe it to yourself to be honest about things, and to him as well. Reflect on where you are at, not just from a standpoint of wanting to feel ordinary or comfortable, but from a standpoint of where you want to go long term.

[excon]

Hello N:

So, you told him you weren't sure, and now you want to TELL him that on THAT very night you slept with somebody else...

If I was your boyfriend, FIRST off, I'd feel HUMILIATED, and then pissed off.. You and me would be DONE! We might be DONE anyway.

excon

[fredg]

You love your boyfriend and slept with someone else? Any good relationship needs respect, honesty, caring, and a willingness to talk about anything. You have failed the first 3!
I think you should move on, because you really don't know what's best for you, much less what's best for your boyfriend. You can cause him a lot of problems later on, with your idea of sleeping with anyone you choose!

[Fr_Chuck]

You could not really love the boyfriend, after three years, in less than a month, you sleep with someone else.

First you wait and make sure you are not pregnant, no birth control is 100 percent.

But he needs to know. Most likely it is over, but he needs to know

[talaniman]

Stay single until you figure yourself out. You weren't willing to convert for him, anyway. Not much of a future if he wants something that you aren't willing to give.