[brushy100]

Hi, I'm 51 and I've been seeing a 48 year old woman for almost a year. We had a definite chemistry right from the start and we've shared some wonderful times together.

2 weeks ago, right out of the blue, she said we should stop seeing each other for a while, maybe for good. I was devastated as I love her dearly. She said she was not ready for a relationship and admitted that she was quite shocked about her feelings during the early months of our relationship. She also says that she still likes me a lot, and although she doesn't want to stop seeing me, she doesn't love me in the same way that I love her.

She says she needs some space, as she has other things going on in her life with family and work that she needs to sort out.

I'm a very patient man and am prepared to give her that space, but it hurts me not being able to see her.

I love her and care about her, I've always treated her well, I've always been honest with her and her happiness has always been my number one priority, so there are lot's of things that I don't understand.

We still talk on the phone a couple of times a week and exchange the odd email, but I really want her in my life and don't know how far to back off. I don't want to push her away, so how can I deal with this so that there is a chance that we'll get back together?

[anillaK7]

Are you calling and emailing her or is she calling and emailing you? If she's initiating contact, then she doesn't need a break - she knows exactly how she wants this relationship to go. She wants you when she wants you and then you should go away. On the other hand, if you're not giving her the break she asked for by contacting her first, she's likely just being polite (and likely getting somewhat annoyed). Tell her you're confused because it doesn't feel like you two are on a break, and though you care about her very much, maybe it would be best if you have no contact, not even email, for a few weeks. If she is being genuine, she'll be totally OK with this. If not, she's just looking to control the situation and you as well.

[mmresd]

You are going to have to give her the space she needs, even if you have to make yourself. You need to be aware that the more pressure you put on her the farther away you will push her. If she wants to be with you, she will come back, let her do it on her own. I wouldn't suggest waiting, especially if she thinks this is permanent, continue living your life, but if she comes back then that is great.