Getting over my ex

X-stream87 · Feb 26, 2007, 08:40 AM

Okay so Basically this is how it worked out I met a girl in high school who I started dating, we did everything together and saw each other almost everyday, we had a lot of little things in common, but about three months in we started fighting about almost everything, well more like she fought with me about everything (shes one of those woman that always likes getting her way.) Basically though we dated steadily for four years and then she broke it off just a couple of months ago, the problem was every time I asked why I got a different answer, I'm pretty sure the reason was because she met someone new well we where in college together, and she decided that maybe she would be better off with him, the big problem is I have tried to cut her out of my life to get over her but it is almost impossible because we have the same group of friends, I still see her at school. But the main problem this is creating for me is it is difficult to get in to another relationship because if in my previous one if I treated her really well and still got dumped it could eaily happen again, so even would could comment on why the relationship may have ended out of nowhere, or why I still want her back even though she had more negative things to do with the relationship then positives, I would really apreciate it.

Thanks for reading.

talaniman · Feb 26, 2007, 10:50 AM

Your right about taking a risk in a relationship. There are no guarantees for any one. If you have acknowledged the negative out weigh the positives then what is it your looking for here? That's so confusing and you should really be looking to getting your own mind together and figuring what is healthy and what is not. Take this time to work on you and leave her alone. Not easy given your circumstances, but it will be okay. Time will heal if you let it.

X-stream87 · Mar 3, 2007, 02:00 PM

Me and my ex girlfriend dated for four years and broke up just about four months ago I've attempted to cut off al communication with her but I still can not stop thinking about her, I keep hoping she will come back but deep down I know she won't, this makes it very difficult to move on because I'm concerned I will not find someone else who I can be as comfortable with as I was with her. Is it normal that even after four months I can't stop thinking about her and getting upset evrytime I do. If anyone has any suggestions on what to do I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading.

tinsign · Mar 3, 2007, 02:15 PM

Sure it's normal not all people get over someone that soon, getting over someone does take time. You might find yourself even years down the road thinking of her.
This is what helped me get through something similar to you.

I have a friend who I talk with all the time mostly via e-mails as we live in different states. What he had me do was to type out everything I felt toward the guy. Good or bad my friend would stay on till all hours of day or night with me. In time we started talking of other things and to this day I tell him how much it meant to have him there for me to talk with.

lil_pea07 · Mar 3, 2007, 02:50 PM

Yes, it is perfectly normal. Love and feelings don't just go away. It takes time to get over a person and in fact no one ever gets over anyone. Deep down inside there is always going to be some feelings for that person even though they don't show nor do you realize it. It will take some time for you to get ready, but you will and can meet someone just as good as her if not better. Just remember it takes time. Good luck! :)

incognito · Mar 3, 2007, 03:18 PM

Don't worry, you're completely normal.
The only thing to do is let time run it's course and let yourself heal.

kristynn · Mar 3, 2007, 04:22 PM

Yes, that's normal.

It might take quite a while, but if you really want to get over her, you must really take it day by day and work on it.
Good luck!~

chopstick · Mar 3, 2007, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by X-stream87

Me and my ex girlfriend dated for four years and broke up just about four months ago ive attempted to cut off al communication with her but i still can not stop thinking about her, i keep hoping she will come back but deep down i know she wont, this makes it very difficult to move on because im concerned i will not find someone else who i can be as comfortable with as i was with her. Is it normal that even after four months i can't stop thinking about her and getting upset evrytime i do. If anyone has any suggestions on what to do i would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading.

Hi there,
Is there no way you can talk to her? Why did you guys break up anyway? Was she out of love with you? Can you try just meeting for a supposedly friendly drink and look your best and be totally seductive and supposedly over her?

X-stream87 · Mar 5, 2007, 08:32 AM

To answer you question the reason we broke up was because she said that she dident feel the same way about me anymore and around the same time she had met another guy at our college who she really seemed to like, we then broke up after I attempted to mend the relationship but she put no effort into trying to work things out we reamined friends for awhile with her telling me that we would most likely get back together in time, she then went on a trip with this guy and some of his friends, and when she came back told me that we where completely over and she would not even consider giving our relationship a second chance, so even though my friend keeps telling me that because of all this I'm am better off I without her I sure don't feel like it. Now from what I hear because we have cut off all communicattion is that she hangs out with that guy she likes all the time now even though they are not dating as far as anyone is aware.

Hopefully this answers your question

alizeblu · Mar 5, 2007, 08:58 AM

Why Is Everyone Giving Up On The Person They Love! I Can't Stand You People! If You Are In Love Work Things Out! Stop Giving Up! You Always Lose The Best Things In Life By Giving Up! Ive Been With My Girl For Four Years As Well! And She Wants To Leave Me! She Put Me Though So Much But I Love Her! I Don't Want to Give Up On Her! If She Wants To Give Up On Me That's On Her But I Would Never Give Up On Her! I Love Her To Death. People Stop Giving Up!

LOOK MAN, DO YOU LOVE HER? IF SO TRY TO GET HER BACK BY ANY MEANS NECCSESSARY!
IF SHE TRULY Doesn't LOVE YOU THEN GIVE UP. BUT Don't QUIT YET. SO WHAT IF SHE HAS ANOTHER FLING! SHE WILL RELIZE SHE WAS BETTER OFF WITH YOU SOON ENOUGH. BUT YOU Got to TRY AGAIN
JUST 1 MORE TIME!

Capuchin · Mar 5, 2007, 09:01 AM

It takes courage to give up and realise it's over, and it's much healthier for you than grasping at nothing.

chopstick · Mar 5, 2007, 09:10 AM

Hey buddy, it sounds like this relationship is over. It's hard to hear, I know. I'm about a year down the line from where you are and I'm it takes more than 4 months if you were very seriously involved. You deseve to be with someone who thinks the world of you. So, this is the inevitable mourning stage you are going through. After that though, great things will come along. I promise.

X-stream87 · Mar 5, 2007, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by alizeblu

Why Is Everyone Giving Up On The Person They Love!? I Can't Stand You People! If You Are In Love Work Things Out! Stop Giving Up! You Always Lose The Best Things In Life By Giving Up! Ive Been With My Girl For Four Years As Well! And She Wants To Leave Me! She Put Me Though So Much But I Love Her! I Dont Wanna Give Up On Her! If She Wants To Give Up On Me Thats On Her But I Would Never Give Up On Her! I Love Her To Death. People Stop Giving Up!

LOOK MAN, DO YOU LOVE HER? IF SO TRY TO GET HER BACK BY ANY MEANS NECCSESSARY!
IF SHE TRULY DOESNT LOVE YOU THEN GIVE UP. BUT DONT QUIT YET. SO WHAT IF SHE HAS ANOTHER FLING! SHE WILL RELIZE SHE WAS BETTER OFF WITH YOU SOON ENOUGH. BUT YOU GOTTA TRY AGAIN
JUST 1 MORE TIME!

I actually tried close to about 3 times and every time she said no, just thought that should be added in response.

alizeblu · Mar 5, 2007, 09:16 AM

So what are you guys trying ta say! The four years they been together meant nothing to her!

I swear man here's america at its best! Leave the perfect relation ships, and get with people that treat you like nothing!

Why can't couples work through things anymore, it never used to be like this, im afraid of the future.

alizeblu · Mar 5, 2007, 09:19 AM

All right well if you tried, then I guess it really is over. At least you tried right? Man now I know my relationships over.

So what now guys? Is that it? We just give up now? And hope to find something better in a future that's not promised?

Jiser · Mar 5, 2007, 09:21 AM

Its over for a reason, we need to move on for ourselves. You cannot put yourself out if there is nothing to reach for anymore.

alizeblu · Mar 5, 2007, 09:27 AM

I understand this.

Which is why you don't hold on to the past!

You let it go, the past is gone its dead its buried! There's no point in digging it up again! I don't understand why couples don't get this!
Let the past go mend it, talk about it, to make a better future!

Don't just give up! It hurts me to know that people don't work through things anymore! They just blow it off and get someone else! Nonsense!

X-stream87 · Mar 5, 2007, 09:57 AM

It takes two people to work something out if only one person wants to work it out but the other person is not willing to try then there really is no point and if there not willing to work on it even after four years then what does that say about the relationship? Or better yet what does it say about where the relationship would eventually end up even if you work it out now.

alizeblu · Mar 5, 2007, 10:13 AM

Heh, You're Absolutley Right, Shut Me Up Right There.

But Still, I Don't Get Women Nowadays, What They Don't Believe There Are Actually Good Men Out There?

So They Get Scared Of A Good Relationship And Bail Out Right?>?
What Is This! Us Being Men Take The Initiative To Try And Work Things Out,and They Just Give Up! I Mean, Common! Nonsense I Tell Ya!

I TELL HER I LOVE HER, WHAT Doesn't SHE UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?
ITS JUST NONSENSE THAT PEOPLE GIVE UP SO EASILY. Ridiculous.
AND What's WITH THIS SPACE NONSENSE!

LOOK CHECK THIS OUT. (SPACE,BREAK,BREAK-UP) DOES Anyone SEE A Resemblance?
SO HOW DOES TAKING A BREAK HELP A RELATIONSHIP! IM STILL CONFUSED HERE!

talaniman · Mar 7, 2007, 02:24 PM

Originally Posted by alizeblu

:confused: <<<still Confused>>>

You will always be confused until you can leave the caps (seems like shouting) and open your mind to the knowledge that others are trying to show you from experience.:eek: