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kurousagi · Mar 24, 2012, 02:43 AM

Me and my ex broke up a while ago. A few months after that we met up, he wanted to reconcile whereas I needed to confess that I cheated on him. It happened during a very rocky part of our relationship- I was deeply unhappy and he was never emotionally available enough to discuss it.

Well I told him and he started crying, which shocked me as I didn't realize that he felt that strongly. Anyway, things became odd after that. We finally decided to stay clear of each other, and I've completely exorcised him from my life. All of the things that remind me of him are gone, I've filled my life with good, positive things; dates, hobbies, work etc. Yet I'm finding it very hard to be happy.

I recently got into college.. but rather than being over the moon about it I felt 'meh'. I'm struggling to connect with guys that I like, I try but I'm just met with a massive mental block. It's all very frustrating as I just want to be happy.

I'm seriously at a loss, what can I do?

talaniman · Mar 24, 2012, 08:12 AM

I think you are trying to hard to connect with guys and I think it would be very helpful to be comfortable just being single and friendly with all you meet until you have reconciled your own feelings.

Be happy with who you are now, and take things slower, and easier. No need to rush or force things. It will flow naturally if you ease up on yourself, and not get frustrated. PATIENCE with YOURSELF is the way to go!

Stellaw · Mar 24, 2012, 08:18 AM

The world seems like a bigger place when you're in college and that might be the cause of your unhappiness. At this point of your life, you still don't know what to do, don't have short-term as well as long-term goals, and don't have wonderful classmates that can be potential boyfriends yet. You need to just accept anything that's thrown at you because once you accept it, you're one step closer to happiness. Accept that you're unhappy right now and be able to communicate it. Well, you're doing it now, aren't you? I'm happy you did because once you communicate it and repeat it over and over again to different people, believe me you will feel a million times better or just feel like "Nah, I'm tired of repeating to people how I feel and feeling it too." Communicate how you feel to your family, friends, relatives, classmates, okay and even strangers. Don't ever blame yourself for the breakup.

kurousagi · Mar 30, 2012, 10:23 AM

Talaniman, I'm not trying to force things with guys. I guess I'm just frustrated with myself and the fact that I can't let guys in ><

Stellaw I'm going back to college so it doesn't daunt me as I've been there before. I know I need to focus on the positives, but it's so hard. Like I said, I'm filling my life with good things, yet I just don't feel happy =(

talaniman · Mar 30, 2012, 10:48 AM

I think you are one of those people who has to be very comfortable and secure with a guy to let him in. Maybe that's your instinct protecting you. That's a good thing, not a bad one. Now have fun, and don't be frustrated because you don't give your heart to someone that hasn't proved they deserve it, or know what to do with it.

kurousagi · Mar 31, 2012, 01:55 AM

You hit the nail on the head! I am like that, as is my ex, which is why we hit it off so well. I guess another issue is that I hold my ex in too high regard. I like someone, but then a part of me goes 'yeah, but it's not him.. '
You're right, fun definitely needs to be had. If I'm more receptive to it maybe I might find myself becoming happier.